


The Boy With The Auburn Hair

by Nickyrockit



Category: Motorcity
Genre: Dystopian, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-02-06 02:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1840750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickyrockit/pseuds/Nickyrockit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since the Genesis Pod incident, Kane's been feeling a bit more concerned about Julie's whereabouts, so he does whatever it takes to keep her under good hands, and most importantly safe from Chilton's harm. Meanwhile, reality for Julie Kane is something hard to keep up with. So it's only natural for her to get tangled up between her two lives, priorities and her feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1- Julie

**Author's Note:**

> This story has already been posted, and can also be followed on FF.net. It's still in progress, I just thought it'd be nice to share it on this site as well, since it's my fave out of my personal bunch. If by any chance you've already read the posted chapters, I've been revising and editing what's already been written and posted. Not much major changes to be made, just editing what I might've missed a couple of months back. If you are new to this story, then welcome, and enjoy! :)

_Julie_

 

Red is the alarming vibrant color flashing before my eyes, a color that reflects danger, anger and power, and I can't help but to feel anxious and a little short of breath whenever it paints itself before me, because it's always never good. The warning signs blink, in and out projecting the time, a harsh reminder of how dangerous my deficiency can actually be… I'm late again!

I press my foot against the gas pedal even harder, and my foot doesn't move so I'm pretty sure I've already reached maximum speed, but the sudden pressure brings me some kind of strange comfort. It makes me believe that the further I dig my foot, the faster I'll go, even though that's absurd.

The incoming calls to my comlink don't seem to end, message after message, and it’s my father's concerned and pleading yell playing over and over again; he's angry but mostly worried, I can sense it in his voice, and it makes me feel a little guilty. I was supposed to be at my lesson 30 minutes ago, plus I didn't show up for my intern shift this morning so I know it's my fault that he's feeling anxious about my whereabouts.

I can't answer, I can't let him track me, not here, not now! I'm on my way to him as we speak, even though I'm kind of dreading it. I don't think I'm ready to listen to one of his safety and responsibility speeches again. I'm starting to grow tired of them, _"Julie you need to learn to take things more seriously!"_ his voice echoing. I'm already frowning and cursing at myself for being so distracted lately that I already know what's coming my way. I just hate it when I get his scolding voice stuck in my eardrum, like an old record player stuck on repeat. I guess it's my guilty conscience acting up when I know I've failed him.

A new window pops up on my dash; another incoming call. I can already feel the scowl forming on my face. There’s enough blinking screens in front of me to cause me a catastrophic accident; no need for extra distractions. I need to get to KaneCo tower yesterday!

But my expression softens when I see who the caller is, I sigh. My tardiness and problems are not other people's fault, but only my own. So I lightly tap on the screen to accept the call, but I don't even dare to take my eyes off the road.

"Hi Claire!" I say hastily.

"Uh… Please tell me you're at least half way here!" She replies, her voice sarcastic.

I allow myself to take a small peek at the screen; she looks upset.

"Let me guess, my dad called you?" I ask, playing a little guessing game for her current mood.

"Oh he called alright! He called like 30 minutes ago! Girl, I left you like 10 messages, what happened?!" Immediately my fingers fly towards the screens on my dash as I dismiss and remove all of those stupid alarms bombarding my view. I finally find my message screen just to confirm her words, and when I do I remember why I was initially ignoring them.

"I'm sorry Claire, I didn't know you called, I've been kind of ignoring my dad…" I say in my most sincere tone, and again that guilty gut feeling comes back.

She still looks upset, and her arms fold across her chest as an addition, her eyes glaring at her side; she doesn't even want to look at me, "I thought you were just going to drop something off last night and then head back!" she pauses and sighs. “Jules, he's really upset." Her eyes meeting back with the screen, and of course mines.

Claire’s words causes my heart to sink a bit, because I know what she meant. She's worried for me, I haven't been careful when I know I should be the most; she's frightened for my safety. After all my dad tends to be a little exaggerating when it comes to safety measures.

"I know… But look, everything's gonna be fine. I'm fine now and I'm pretty sure he's just gonna give me a long speech about responsibility and question me about where I was, and I'm gonn-"

"And what exactly are you gonna say?!" She interrupts, and my eyes widen. I'm little taken aback, but I remain quiet and wait for what she has to say. "He obviously knows you weren't with me! And you don't really hang out with other people up here in Deluxe…" She rolls her eyes.

She has a point, but I don't let it show. I can't afford to worry about that now, I still need to get to Deluxe, so I shake my head and focus my mind back on the road. "I'll wing it! I'll tell him that I was at your place, and that I got sick so I left… I don't know I'll come up with something!"

"I don't think that's gonna work…" She says in a low voice and her eyes fall to the ground. She's keeping something from me. I raise an eyebrow, and I can't even help the concern that’s suddenly gnawing at my insides.

"Claire… Is something wrong?" I ask with a little fear.

She looks up to the screen again. "I'm okay, that's all you need to know…"

But that's not enough for me, "Claire! What happened?" I press, and she sighs.

She hesitates, but she eventually replies. "Your dad sent some of his men to my pod this morning…"

I can feel myself freezing for a second, and I have to shake my head to recollect myself. I'm driving, I'm not allowed to feel this way now.

"He did what?!" I meant to ask something else like, what where they doing there? Or did they harm you? But I just need to hear it again to reassure myself that I heard correctly.

She takes a deep breath and looks away, her eyebrows furrow, and I can tell she's uncomfortable about the subject, but I just need to know!

"Look, they just searched the place and made a big mess, that's all…"

I feel the sudden wave of anger rising in me; my hands tightening on the steering wheel, so much that my knuckles turn white from the force. I feel like punching something, but I can't at the moment, so instead I kick my foot against the gas pedal even harder, no, not kick, press. I press, and I feel 9 Lives roar as she speeds up faster and faster, the Motorcity exit tunnel is not too far from here, and something tells me that this time I'm gonna dread entering it more than ever before.

I let out a long breath, I'm too upset and embarrassed to even rant about the problem, "I'm so sorry Claire…" Is all I manage to say, my voice sympathetic.

"Look Jules, I'm okay really! Everything's fine, nothing’s broken or anything. It was just… A little scary that's all.” She replies, trying to make me feel better about the situation, but it's hopeless. It still doesn't change the fact that I got her into this…

"He went too far…" I say almost immediately, my voice bitter with sudden hate for the man who ironically I share much love for.

"It's fine! Although I wish that one guy wasn't so freakishly weird…" And I notice her shuddering at the memory.

One of my eyebrows arcs, and I glance in thought at the screen. "What guy?" I ask, very much curious.

"I don't know his name!" She exclaims instantly, "He just looks weird. He's certainly not an ultra elite that's for sure…" she brings her hand up to examine her perfect manicured nails, as if the subject wasn't that important anymore.

I take a couple of seconds to think, but the irritating red warning signs pop up on my screen, yet again to remind me that now I'm 45 minutes late. I grunt, and for a second I even forget about what we were talking about that I don't even realize that I mutter what I see. “Ugh! These stupid red signs!”

"Yeah… He was wearing red." Claire supports very calmly.

When I hear her words, my eyes widen and I immediately turn to the screen, because now I know who that one freakishly weird guy is. “Red? He sent Red to your pod?!" I ask very stunned.

"Red, Black… Whatever… Well he was in my pod with like 3 other ultra elites, and OMG he's like totes super mean! He was asking me all sorts of questions, like when was the last time I saw and talked to you? And when was the last time you visited me? Ugh! I swear he was so rude when he spoke!" She frowns; a little upset about the memory, and I wouldn't blame her.

But that makes me even more furious with my father, not just because he sent Red, but because it also means that Red was given certain orders. Orders that could jeopardize my identity as Kane's daughter. Normally I would be overreacting in front of my dad for being so discreet about my existence, I don't like that I'm his secret. Though I have to admit that it has given me certain advantages, and because of that I’ve become too paranoid to admit who I really am. My dad doesn't know it, and I know he does it to protect me, but right now my true identity could serve as a detonating time bomb to some. Ready to disappoint and hurt those close to me who just know me as random Julie, intern at KaneCo, and current Burner. A traitor at both ends, but not by heart. I want what's right for my two homes, so I think that I at least deserve a voice when it comes to who my father decides to reveal his secret to. He might trust Red, but I don't! Not even as Abraham Kane's daughter.

I hit the breaks, and I bring 9 Lives to a screeching halt. I've reached my destination. "I can't believe he sent that monster after me! What was he even thinking?!" I yell, banging my fists against the dash.

Claire watches me a little confused, I guess I never talked to her about Red before. “Girl, chill! I said he didn't do anything to me! He was just rude that's all… Besides you never really told me why you ended up staying the night down there, was everything alright?” She asks a little worried.

And guilt rushes through me again, my cheeks burning at the thought. "Uh… No, nothing bad happened." I reply, quickly getting out of my car and stealing every hint of worry from her; the holo-chat following along. I touch a button on the collar of my vest and my attire changes to the dull light blue and white that paints me along with this city's mandatory boring cleanliness and safety.

Claire smirks, and even though I don't have time, I know what's coming, "Julie Kane! Did you finally-"

"Nope! No, don't even bring it up! It's nothing like that!" I immediately dismiss, but it's no use. At this point it's a little hard to conceal the red on my cheeks.

She giggles, and I try to force my smile back, I'm probably going to get punished to death in a couple of minutes and here I am thinking about the cause of it! "Just say yes or no!" She presses.

And my smile dies when I think about my options, I pause and let it sink in. "No." I reply softly, sadly shaking my head before I continue the walk to the end of my days.

"What?! Oh come on! I swear it's you, it's like you don't even want this sometimes!" She scowls at me, a little disappointed. But she's right, sometimes I don't want it, because reality sinks in, and I know how complicated things might get… I'm scared, and I don't want neither of us to get hurt.

By now I'm jogging my way to KaneCo tower, the heels on my boots are hurting my feet but I don't let that stop me. I frown at Claire's response, how many times do I have to explain this to her? "Claire, you know it's not that simple!” I say in between a pant.

"I know it's not, but I also know that he trusts you, and deserves to know the truth!" She snaps back.

He does, I know that. I'm just too scared of loosing him entirely, or about disappointing him and loosing his trust, even though that won't change my goal to do what's right. So instead, out of fear, I just don't risk him. Instead, I just rather be in love and hear his voice call my name, _"Jules…"_ it’s like those poems I found in an abandoned building once down in Motorcity. I never knew people actually wrote down their feelings on paper and dedicated them to their loved ones, that’s not taught in Deluxe. Beautiful long lost words that meant affection and romance, and described things with such details like flowers, and the color and smell of things that I'm not even sure what they are. And that's what I hear every time he says my name; poetry, because I can sense the passion behind his voice. He doesn't just call me because he needs something, sometimes there's no need to say it and he does anyway. It's like he needs to say it to fill a void deep inside him, and I turn and smile and melt a little inside.

This has been going on for a month now, ever since the last big attack. It’s like, something in us changed after that day, and I can't really explain it, but it's like a switch was suddenly turned on; like a drug that I need to take in order to survive. We've been getting… closer… Not in an obvious way of course, but it's like our own little secret that we don't even speak about. The world that surrounds us might know, but they don't speak either, they just know, smile and silently root for us, because they think we belong. They smile when I'm tired and I unconsciously rest my head against his shoulder and he stretches his arm to bring me closer. They smile when we get lost into each other's eyes and escape reality for a couple of seconds. When I blush whenever he compliments my work, or the way I look certain days… Last night they smiled when he asked me to stay and watch a movie with him and the guys, and I agreed. Little by little they left to their rooms for the night until it was just me and him. My heart throbbed desperately when he brought his arm across my shoulders, and I swear he wanted to say something, but he didn't, instead he leaned and I knew what was coming, and then reality attacked me. I panicked, I can't get too lost in him, because I don't want to loose him, no matter how bad I crave to feel his lips against mines. So I just don’t. I restrain myself, no matter how tempting and painful it is.

And every day I wake up with the hopes of giving up, and forget about the consequences, but it never happens. I just live with the constant fear of loosing him, because of who I really am. Reality is, I am a huge risk for him, and it hurts to know that he doesn't even have a clue of how much damage I could really cause him. I don't deserve his feelings, his closeness and care… Like I said, I'm a deadly weapon waiting to be ignited and I don't want to hurt! I don't think I even want to know what my options are either. All I know is that I'm in love with Mike Chilton, and I'd like to keep it that way. Sometimes I'm okay with just daydreaming about things, like when we kiss in my dreams and I can finally brush my fingers freely against his soft brown hair, feel his warm breath against my lips, and loose ourselves endlessly into each other's eyes until we speak no more, and let our feelings express themselves in that blissful silence I so desperately crave… It's okay, I don't think I was ever meant to have a normal life anyway.

"You deserve to be happy yourself you know…" Her voice brings me back from my short fantasy. I blink as I analyze her words.

"I know Claire, but have you ever wondered how he'll react if he ever finds out that I'm his mortal enemy's daughter? That I share the same roof as the tyrant he's been trying to take down? The same guy who's tried to kill him multiple times? For sure he'll kick me out of the Burners, and probably have me banned from Motorcity… Not to mention that…" I pause, swallowing the sudden lump on my throat. "I don't want to hurt him…"

Claire sighs annoyingly and rolls her eyes. "Well if you're gonna put it like that, then yes, expect some major hate!"

I frown, "Yeah thanks for the encouragement…" I say unimpressively as I pause on my heels. I've reached KaneCo tower. “Okay, I gotta go! I'll call you later to let you know how my death sentence went…" I say sarcastically.

She nods and gives me a sympathetic look. "Good luck, Jules… You know I alway got your back, but today…" I know how she feels, like she somehow failed me even though it was the other way around. I'm the one who failed her and wasn't too careful with my precious time, I took advantage of my limited freedom for my own selfish ironic needs.

I give her a half smile, "Thanks, I know I can always count on you, Claire!" and with a light touch, I end the call and the screen before me turns to nothing.

I'm panting and a drop of sweat trickles down my cheek, immediately I wipe it away, and continue my walk with a slower pace. I feel a little hesitant about opening the door, but it’s mostly because I don’t want to face my father, and right now my only wish is to run away and never come back, but that would be selfish of me. As much as I wish to leave everything and move down to Motorcity permanently, it's a huge help that I'm up here in Deluxe. It's a little harsh, but reality is that if I want to help, Motorcity needs me up here in Deluxe, that's a fact! So I try to do what's "right" and be in good terms at both ends. Besides, I know it hurts to think about it, but when the time comes, it’s going to be me who’s gonna end up picking up after my father’s fall.

I approach the entrance and the door slides open; welcoming me with that cool sanitized air that vents through my father's perfect city. And I can't help but frown at the monotony. People walking in silence, expressionless as they work on their own tasks. Are they not even allowed to smile? I take a silent note, I can make sure that changes when I’m the one in charge.

When I reach the correct level, I sprint towards my ending destination, and the heels of my boots are the only thing that fills this huge but less than empty hallway with life, *Click. Click. Click* they go in perfect rhythm, and it doesn't take long for curious Tooley to pop his head from one of the doors and find the source of the sudden and persistent noisy clicks of my shoes.

"Julie!" He calls out a little excited, and then as if he suddenly remembered something the expression on his face changes to alarmed, like a child that wants to tattle tell on something. "Ohhh! Mister Kane's been looking for you!" He says.

I roll my eyes, I don't need a reminder! "I know! I'm on my way now!" I yell back, panting every now and then.

"He's very upset!" He notifies, his voice sounding more like a warning, even though to me it serves more as a confirmation. I already know that.

I keep running until I finally reach his main office, hurriedly pressing the entrance code until the door opens. Taking a couple of seconds, I catch my breath, and I can’t help that I'm panting uncontrollably like a sweating dog, my heart racing, like when Mutt made the Doom Jump to drain the power core's energy, and that's the fastest thing I've ever seen. I think I should probably be having a heart attack or something, but I'm still standing, and I curse under my breath, that could come in handy right now.

I notice that the office is strangely dark. That's weird, I'm pretty sure it was sunny not too long ago… He's blinded the window glasses I note, and the darkness suddenly makes me feel a little threatened but mostly scared. This is very rare.

"Dad?" I call, my voice a little tight.

But there's no sign of movement inside this room, even though it's too dark for me to tell for sure… I sigh and take a step; finally entering the gloomy office.

“Dad, I'm here okay? Look I'm sorry I'm late, I lost track of time! Dad…?" I try to focus, but it's too dark, and I'm pretty sure I'm making a fool out of myself as I'm sure there's no one here, so I turn to flick the light switch on, and when I do I freeze in my spot, because I can't believe what my eyes are seeing.

There, at the frame of the door stands the one person who I swear might beat my father's hatred for Mike Chilton. Red.


	2. 2 Julie

_Julie_

 

I'm lost of words, by now I swear I can feel my heart at my throat. I've seen what he's capable of, so it's only natural that I feel extremely threatened right now. Is he here to skin me alive? To beat the crap out of me until I learn my lesson? I feel a shiver run down my spine…   
  
Does he know I'm a Burner, that I'm actually one of his targets?  
  
"Get back inside now!" He says in a snarl.   
  
It's a little unconscious, but I feel my sudden jittery hands lightly patting my suit; searching for something even though it's useless. I left my boomerang inside of 9 Lives, so I'm entirely defenseless.   
  
"I said MOVE!" He yells, taking a couple of steps towards me; his height overpowering my petite frame.  
  
My breath is shaky, but I can't move, I'm paralyzed! Is he somehow attacking me without me knowing?   
  
I take a clumsy step back, but I stumble lightly on my feet, almost loosing stability. A yelp of fear escapes my lips, and he keeps taking threatening steps towards me; his hands charging up with some kind of electricity, my eyes widen as I give him a look that silently pleads for mercy, and I finally loose my balance and make fall to the ground. And I think this is the end of me, he's going to kill me! Like a defenseless mouse trapped in a corner waiting to be devoured by its prey.   
  
I cower in fear; my body trembling uncontrollably as I close my eyes and wait for my end.   
  
And then, I hear it. Heavy footsteps approaching us, "Red, enough!" calls my father's voice in utter command, and in response Red grunts. It's hard to tell, but I think the lights have been turned on as well.  
  
My eyes flutter open when I hear my dad's footsteps nearing me, I look up at him and I can feel a tear running down my cheek. I didn't even know I was crying… "Dad!" I say in relief; quickly standing on my feet. Even though I know he's upset at me, and I'm not quite sure if Red was ordered to attack me or not, I feel like I owe him a ‘thank you’ for stopping the dark soldier.   
  
"Where were you young lady?" He asks instantly, interrupting my thoughts. His voice vile with anger.  
  
"I'm so sorry dad! I lost track of time, and I wasn't feeling too good this morning! A- and when I was on my way here I- I took one of the new prototype pods, but I got locked inside! I didn't understand how to operate it that well, and it took me this whole time to just to open it!" I lie in a whimper, but the sneer in his eyes tells me that he's not buying my pack of lies. "Dad, I swear that's the truth!" I keep pressing very determinedly.  
  
He lowers himself so his gaze meets mine, "You're lying!" he retorts in a growl. And he's right! But my lips will never spill the fact that I fell asleep in the arms of his most wanted criminal.  
  
"I am not!" I reply dismissively, my face frowning and my teeth clenching in anger. Why can't he trust my word for once?   
  
“Well, if that's the case, why didn't you answer my calls? You could've told me about the pod problem and I could've easily sent one of my techs to help!" He insists, and I just stare at him very firmly.  
  
"I wanted to prove to you that I could handle the situation," Folding my arms across my chest, I keep explaining. "you're always telling me that I need to be stronger and independent! Well, that was my take at trying to prove that!" I snap back.  
  
His scowl is still plastered on his face, but he remains quiet, and I wonder… Have I won the discussion?  
  
I'm breathing heavily from the agitation, and my eyes suddenly dart towards Red, and I can't help but to feel more furious about the situation. I am not done protesting, so I point an accusing finger at him. "And what is _he_ doing here?" I demand.  
  
Dad turns to glance at the black and red cladded man and chuckles sarcastically. "You'll see…" He says with a menacing tone, and I swallow hard at his words, scared for his intentions. Sometimes I'm not even sure if my own flesh and blood is trustworthy enough.  
  
"I'm not sure I want to find out…" I mutter. "Which reminds me, how dare you send him along with your stupid army to search Claire's pod? I mean, was that really necessary?! That poor girl is probably going to end up having nightmares from now on, because of your little search party! And what was he even trying to do back there, kill me? Is that what you ordered him to do?!” I yell, flailing my hands in the air hysterically.   
  
My father folds his arms, somewhat amused by my reaction, and I can't help but to get even more enraged because of that. “Well, she has you to thank for that! Maybe if you didn't lie all the time, daddy wouldn't had to take those measurements. Red was just following orders, and no, he wasn't trying to kill you, he was just trying to get you to cooperate." He replies very calmly.   
  
Cooperate? What does that even mean? Yes, I lied, I know I'm entirely guilty of my actions, but he's not supposed to know that! Have my lying skills weakened so bad to the point of having someone else intervene and get me to "Cooperate"? Have I gotten that obvious? And how can he be so calm about everything? I can't stand the calmness, I can't stand the tension and the fact that Red is even in this room with us!  
  
"How dare you tell him about me without my consent?" I yell furiously, my fists tightening so hard that I can feel my fingernails digging themselves into my skin.   
  
He glowers at me, and I'm not sure if he's not too fond about the question or my tone of voice. I don't recall ever yelling at my father with this much anger, and I can feel my eyes start to water; my hand suddenly covers my mouth, as if that would rewind my words and fix my crude tone.   
  
He sighs, and the look on his eyes softens a bit. He hates to see me cry, at least it's good to see that that hasn't changed over the years, that deep inside Deluxe and Motorcity's most feared man there's still a glimmer of empathy inside of him. I feel guilty that it's only with me, and I wish more than anything that he wasn't so greedy, so he could share it with others, and then maybe things wouldn't be so complicated for him, maybe he wouldn't be viewed as a monster. It hurts, because I know that deep down inside he's not, at least not with me. Not always.  
  
"Julie bear…" He starts, and I furiously shake my head. I don't want to hear him. I don't want him to persuade me with his poisonous words about how he finds Red's existence even useful. Why he even knows who I am.  
  
"You promised! You promised that we would keep my identity safe, and that we would discuss it every time we decided to tell someone-"  
  
"I had no choice!" He cuts me off, and I feel my entire body shuddering at his yell. He sighs heavily and turns to face Red, motioning him to leave the room. Red doesn't speak, and for some reason it bothers me, he just nods and leaves, like this is none of his business, which wasn't, but now that he knows who I am it matters, it matters so much more than what he might believe it does. This makes me fragile at both ends.  
  
"Sweetheart, I had no choice." He tries to explain, his tone serious but caring at the same time. "There's no one else I trust enough these days…"  
  
I blink, a little baffled by what he's saying. "And you trust _him_?" I press.   
  
He nods, confirming the worst, and he takes a couple of steps away from me. "I don't think you understand my motives."  
  
"Motives? How can you-" I cut myself off, pausing for a brief moment so I can choose my words wisely. I remind myself that Red is not supposed to be my enemy up here in Deluxe, and dad's not supposed to know that he is in Motorcity. "How can you trust someone you barely even know? I mean, all we know is that he's from Motorcity. For all we know he could be lying and waiting to betray us at any moment!"  
  
Even though he's not facing me, I know by the sudden change of his body language what he's thinking; what I've reminded him of.  
  
He grunts, "He's not!" he yells very determinedly.  
  
"But how do you know for sure?" I insist.  
  
"Because he's not a traitor! He's not Mike Chilton!" He presses, turning to face me, and I can't help that I feel a little short of breath at the mention of his name.   
  
"After what happened a month ago," He continues, and I carefully stare back, "After Chilton found and held you hostage…" he pauses, and the rage in his eyes is impossible not to notice. "He knew exactly who to look for didn't he? And after that, you expect me to let you prance around the city just like that, as if nothing happened?!" He shakes his head. "No Julie, that's not going to happen again."  
  
I feel short of breath again, only this time the cause is not Mike's name, but my dad's words. "W-what do you mean?" I ask a little fearful.   
  
"I mean, Chilton knows who you are! Do you not even realize how much of threat that is?!" He presses. "He knows you're my weakness, Julie! That bastard knew exactly to look for my innocent little girl and threaten her against me! And I still don’t know how he did it, but I won't let that happen again.”  
  
A tear trickles down my cheek, I guess I never thought about the consequences of my plan a month ago. I wish I could to tell him that it's ok, to reassure him that Mike Chilton doesn't know who I really am, that it was all part of my plan to bring him down and save Motorcity from his evil intentions, but that would just worsen my odds.  
  
"I know you don't always agree with me, Julie,” His voice concerned. "but you're my daughter, the only thing I have that I can't risk loosing. You're also the future of Deluxe, my successor, the one person I know I can truly trust to continue my legacy."  
  
Sometimes I feel a little guilty when I hear what he thinks of me; how much he trusts me, to the point of putting Deluxe in my hands. Truth is I do want to take over Deluxe, because I somewhat believe in the original purpose… Health, safety and a simpler lifestyle. I do want that to continue, but without the harsh laws and most importantly, I want the people to feel free to choose whatever they want, that if they want to go down to Motorcity to explore and say… Learn how to drive a car, they should feel free to do it, and it should be okay, and I will make sure that it will be okay. I want to free this city from its restrains, I want the people to loose the fear of what my father has made them believe is wrong, I want to show them that not everything is bad, that eating a slice of pizza won't poison you like his mandatory health classes says it does, and that you can wear whatever color of clothing you wish to wear, instead of what you're being told to wear, that there is more to fun than just exercising and praising a leader.  
  
Even when I think about the positive things I could do to this city, I can't help the fear… My last name and blood is tainted, and something tells me that when the time comes, trust will be hard to achieve.  
  
A sigh escapes my lips from my troubled thoughts. I can’t let that bring me down, not now. I will prove them wrong if I have to, because who will do the right thing if not me? Because I don't think I'll ever have a healthy conscience if I don't even try.  
  
I nod to my father, because I want to succeed him, I want to fix his undoing no matter how hard and painful it will be, and maybe he is right. I need to take things more seriously if I want my future plans to succeed. I will do this, for the real good of Deluxe and Motorcity.  
  
A warm smile grows on him. "One day you'll understand that everything I do for you is for your own good, and you'll thank me when your time comes to raise your own child."  
  
My feet shuffle uncomfortably, I don't think I want to bring a child into this cruel world. I think that would be punishment… And even if I did, I don't think I'll ever have the time. I have my priorities set, and a normal life is not one of them, it was never intended for me.  
  
"Which is why I want to keep a close eye on you," I look up at him, suddenly interested with what he has to say. "I've assigned Red to be your personal guard for the time being."  
  
My eyes close in defeat, and tears run freely down my cheeks; he's confirmed what I feared the most. I knew he had something like this planned for me, and I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to have someone following me around all day, I just can't believe it's Red, because I know that it'll be hard to outsmart him. This means no 9 Lives, Motorcity or Burners for who knows how long.   
  
"For how long?" Is all I manage to ask in my shaky voice; my hand wiping away the tears staining my face.  
  
“Well, that depends on you sweetie." He says very knowingly.  
  
I cock a questioning eyebrow, not really following what he means.  
  
"If you prove to me that you can be responsible and dedicated enough to take over Deluxe, then you'll earn more freedom. It's simple really, show up on time whenever you're supposed to; prove me wrong. Show me that you want this, that you're careful with who you are, that you can take care of yourself and won't become the target once again."  
  
He's testing me; he and I both know that we can't help that last option… But then again, he doesn't know that I had full control of the situation. He keeps asking me how did Chilton found me that day, and I keep pressing that he just happened to jumped on my pod and took me hostage without questioning, he doesn't ask more, because after that he finds himself too busy with the hatred that comes after. I guess it's still a little hard for him to accept the facts, but what irks him the most is that Mike Chilton held me in his arms, and while that might've been heaven for me, to him it was hell.   
  
Maybe this is what I have to do, and maybe it won't be as bad as I think. I just have to be careful, and prove to my father that I am and will be safe, that I don't need anyone taking care of me. And I hope I can convince him soon, I don't know how much I can handle being watched over by that freak.   
  
I don't know how the guys are going to deal without me… Well without my intel connection, not that we should worry much about that, my dad's been taking things easy since the last attack; he got badly injured, and recovery wasn't something that came easily, he still limps and complains about his bad leg every now and then. Not to mention that the city is still recovering from the damages that were caused that day, but that doesn't necessarily mean we should get too comfortable. My father is very unpredictable, and I know that besides everything he's been through this past month, he still hasn't given up on taking over Motorcity.  
  
"Are we clear on this?" He asks, his voice serious and determined.   
  
I guess there's no way I'm getting myself out of this one. “Yes.” I reply in a low voice, I have to agree, because I can't think of anything else that might get me out of this situation, there's no way of changing his made up mind, no matter how much I beg him, I'll still have to go through with this rather I like it or not. I just wished he would've picked someone else to watch over me, someone less hostile.  
  
"Good!" He says; turning around and heading for the door, I follow briefly even though I'm dreading it.   
  
When we exit his office, Red is standing like a statue next to the door; immediately he turns to face us, and I just turn away. I'm still pretty upset about the whole situation.  
  
"Red, escort Julie back home and make sure she stays there until I return for the evening."   
  
My eyes widen as my father's words hit me. Immediately I turn to him. "What?! What about my lesson for today?" I protest.  
  
"In case you've forgotten, you were late today, and the time I had scheduled for you already passed. I have a staff meeting with the tech department in 10 minutes, I'm afraid I don't have time today." He replies, his voice calm yet bitter at the same time.   
  
My arms fold across my chest and I huff in irritation. "So what, I can't even go to Claire's?" I retort.   
  
His arms fold as well, as if I've challenged him into something. His eyes glaring at me before the look on his face softens, but not pleasantly, "You can go to Claire's" he starts, but I remain quiet, in times like these there's always a catch. "as long as he's with you at all times…" He offers, pointing at the masked soldier.   
  
I roll my eyes annoyingly. "Forget it!" And I storm away from both my father and Red.   
  
"You can't expect me to go easy on you, sweetheart!" He says, and I stop on my heels and turn to him.   
  
"I at least deserve some privacy!" I snap back.   
  
"Remember what I said, the more you prove to me that you can handle things, the more freedom you'll earn." He replies as a matter-of-factly.   
  
"Ugh!" I grunt and continue my walk towards the elevators, leaving my dad and hopefully Red behind.   
  
I swear I must've broken the elevator button, because I punched it with so much force that even my fist has reddened. Luckily it didn't as it quickly opened, and I didn't even hesitate to step inside, immediately I press the 'close door' button and I take a relieving breath when I see the door sliding to a close. But my peace doesn't last long, a black hand suddenly interrupts the door, and it quickly opens again to reveal my newest "guard", Red.   
  
My body tenses, and again I fold my arms and look away. Even though I have to get used to having him around, I'm not sure I'm ready yet.  
  
"Thought you could run away from me didn't you, princess?" He inquires, his voice taunting yet coolly as he enters the elevator and stands next to me, and this time the door closes without any interruptions.  
  
My eyes widen, and my cheeks suddenly feel hot from the rage rising in me. "What did you just call me?" I ask in the most poisonous tone I could muster. My eyes glaring at him with vile hate.   
  
"I thought it sounded fitting…" Is all he offers in a sarcastic tone; shrugging his shoulders as if it was the most casual thing ever, and I just feel like yelling at him. Who does this guy thinks he is? First he yells at me for something as stupid as not moving when he wants me to, then he acts like he's going to kill me, and now he's calling me names? I don't know what's worst: Texas calling me "Miss Deluxe" or Red calling me "Princess".  
  
"You better watch what you say," I say in the same calm bitter tone my father uses on me all the time, "I don't know what my father ranked you, but I'm pretty sure it's not to the point of forgetting who your superiors are…" and I mean my words! If he's going to know about my identity, at least I want to be respected for who I really am.  
  
What I probably hate the most about Red is that I can't see his face. Here I am trying to make a valid point, and I don't know if behind that helmet he's taking me seriously or mocking my words. And then it occurs to me, he's probably hiding something behind that tedious armor, and I wish I knew what, is he deformed, burned, not human? I shudder at the thought. Maybe he really does use it as protection and to intimidate his opponents.   
  
"Are we clear on that?" I press with a frown.   
  
He sighs. "Whatever…" He replies with an uncaring tone.  
  
"Good!" I reply very determinedly. But what I really wish is for an apology, even though I know that would be a little too much to ask for, after all he's not the forgiving type of guy…  
  
The ride back home was very quiet, and I for one am glad it was. Not that I wanted to, but something tells me that if I even tried forming a conversation with Red it would've ended up in an argument. I don't agree with his purpose, and I certainly don't agree with him working for my father, nothing good can come out of that. But in a way I can see why he is, both him and my father share the same wicked thirst, the fall of Mike Chilton. So I just think it's best if I stay quiet and avoid conversation, hopefully the days will fly by and this will all be over soon.   
  
By the look of the amber rays the sun has painted our home with, I can tell it's late afternoon. I'm walking through the hallway and Red follows along until I reach the door to my dormitory. I pause and turn to face him, "I'm gonna go have a shower now…" I inform him; hoping that I at least get privacy inside my bedroom.   
  
He slowly nods, and like a soldier on guard he stands at the entrance of my door, but before I turn and enter my room he quickly grabs my arm, squeezing just a little too tight for my comfort, and I dart my fearful eyes at him. "You better do what you say you're doing… I have your tracking signal, and trust me when I say that you do not want to test me." He warns in a low growl.  
  
My breath is shaky once again but I nod, and every time I try to pull away from him I swear he tightens his hand around my small arm even more, so I give up until he eventually lets go. I quickly walk past him and into my room; accidentally shoving him along the way. It's like instinct that I lock the door, my lips trembling from the sudden fearful rush, and I try to calm myself as much as I can before I enter the bathroom and run the shower. Just in case, I close and lock that door as well, and I take a couple of deep breaths to recollect myself, I can't think much about what I have to do next.  
  
I pop a holographic window in front of me and dial the correct number, I know I have two doors protecting me, but I keep giving the one next to me paranoid glances as I wait for my caller to answer.   
  
"Come on…" I grunt, and it takes me straight to voice message. Again I dial, and this time I send a written message along saying: _"Please answer, it's urgent!"_  
  
This time she answers by the second ring. “Hey, Jules! Sooo so sorry! I was just doing my toe nails." Claire informs, and I can tell that she is, since she's hunched over on top of her bed, holding a nail polish bottle in one hand while the other holds the brush.   
  
"Claire I don't have much time, but I need you to do me a huge favor!" I say quickly, my worried tone catches her attention.   
  
"Jules, what's wrong?" She quickly asks, facing the screen before her, she closes the nail polish bottle; suddenly giving me her full attention. It doesn't take her long for her to realize where I am, "Wait, are you in your bathroom?" she raises an eyebrow.   
  
"Yes, it's the only place I think I can talk for now without being heard or watched over."  
  
"Watched over? Wh-"  
  
"My dad assigned Red to keep a close eye on me." I cut her off, because I don't know how much time I have before Red suspects that I'm taking too long in the shower. Her eyes widen at the piece of information, and she gives me a pitiful look.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Jules…" She says with sympathy.   
  
"It's not something that'll last forever," I offer, and the look on her face brightens up a bit.  
  
"Oh… Okay.” She says, somewhat relieved.  
  
"I just don't trust him that's all… I wanted to go to your place, but he has to be there with us all the time," I roll my eyes, and she just furrows her eyebrows.   
  
"So what do you need me to do?" She asks, reminding me of the initial purpose for the call.  
  
"Right, I need you to call…" I pause, and give the door a paranoid glance before I turn back to face her, " _Him_ … You know…" I don't need to say his name for her to understand who I'm talking about.  
  
She rolls her eyes. "You're joking right?"   
  
I frown at her. "No, I'm not joking. I really need you to call him! Look, I just don't want to risk his safety, specially now that I'm having a close eye on me by one of his other mortal enemies…"  
  
"And what do you want me to tell him? That you're grounded and that Red guy is looking after you?"   
  
My eyes widen. "No! Claire, whatever you do! Do not tell him about Red! He can't know!" I immediately add.  
  
"What? Why?" She asks a little confused.   
  
"They have a delicate past… Uh… Red hates his guts, long story, I don't have much time to explain right now. He just can't know, if he does, he'll try and do whatever it takes to-"  
  
"Beat the crap out of him, and he'll probably end up getting captured and chaos breaks loose again, because he's totes so in love with you, and he can't handle the fact that one of his enemies is being so near to you?" She interrupts and smirks at the end of her sentence.   
  
My face heats up, and I bite my lower lip. “Um… Yeah… Something along those words sounded kind of right…”  
  
"So what do you want me to say?" She asks, giggling at what I'm assuming; the sudden blush on my cheeks.     
  
"Just say that Kane wants to keep a close eye on me because of what happened a month ago… I don't know… Tell him it's like a witness protection sorta thing, and that hopefully it won't last long. Also, let him know that things up here are pretty calm for the moment, but if something out of the ordinary happens I'll let you know so you can give them the heads up, and vise versa. If they need me, tell them to call you first thing, and I'll try to do as much as I can from up here. But I'm  afraid I won't be able to go down there for a bit, same goes with communication… I can't put them at risk, unless it's something obviously urgent." I lower my gaze, sadly thinking about my upcoming days.  
  
"Don't worry, Jules, I'll talk to him," I look up at her and she gives me a reassuring nod. "but you know he's going to want more answers than that, right?"  
  
I nod, I know how Mike can get sometimes… He can turn into a horrible mess full of worry whenever it comes to one of us.   
  
"Then it means you'll have to sound as convincing as possible. The least thing I need right now is a worried… friend… risking his neck for something I know I can handle."   
  
"I'll try my best." She reassures; giving me a compassionate look.   
  
"Thank you, Claire." A grateful smile spreads across my lips.   
  
She smiles warmly. "Any time, Jules."   
  
And the call ends. 


	3. 3 Mike

_Mike_

 

The time seems to go by slower and slower as the days go by, and it's on days like these that I find myself missing Mutt even more, because at least she kept my mind and hands busy, but most importantly; distracted from my troubled thoughts.  
  
It's been three days since Claire called and told me, well… Us about Jules. I'm a natural worrier when it comes to one of my own, that's a fact, and I guess I've sort of gotten myself used to that as well. _'You worry too much bro!'_ Chuck tells me all the time, and I give him a sarcastic grin whenever he says it; he tends to beat me at a game of worry. But this time is different, it's Julie, not me nor any of the guys who's trapped up there in that synthetic "perfect" city. And it's not that I'm worried about wether or not she can handle herself. It's not about that at all. Julie is a smart girl that knows how to take care of herself, and I trust both her and myself on that, after all, Deluxe is her main home, and I know she’s more familiar with it.   
  
Sometimes I lie to myself to try and ease the worry. I imagine that she's just home; sick with the flu, that she needs the rest to get better, and that's the reason why I fight the urge to call her, because she needs the rest in order to get better, and be with us once again, with me, safe. At least that sounds more comforting than what’s actually going on. But who am I kidding? As much as I try to disguise it, it's hopeless. I’ve discovered that I can't always control my worry and anger, because I know the reality of the situation always wins me over, and that's when Claire's voice echoes in my mind again; reminding me of the crude truth. _'Kane's keeping a close eye on her… He's been worried about her safety ever since, you know… Last month…'_  
  
I shake my head. I did this, I caused this for her. Even though it was her idea and it worked, I can't stop blaming myself for it. I agreed to put her at risk, I am the one who’s classified as a criminal, a wanted man to the society of Deluxe; a monster that held an innocent girl in his arms and threatened to harm her in order to get things his way. And while her current situation might be totally understandable; it bothers me… Not because it's somehow my fault, but because of Kane's great interest in her. It's something that's been nagging my insides ever since.   
  
_‘Mike, it’s fine, he's just my boss, and he’s just concerned about my safety.’_ She always reassures me, and I drop the subject, because it just doesn’t make sense, besides she never seems comfortable about it, and I don't like to see her that way. I prefer her bright smile and sweet laughter instead of a frown and a distressed look on her eyes, it just doesn't suit her. But I can't help the thought that she might be hiding something, that she's keeping something from me… But why? She knows more than anyone that she can trust me; just as I know I can trust her with my life, and I'm 100% positive that she won't ever let me down.   
  
And that's when it started. She seems nervous every time we speak about the subject, and it brings me back to that day, the day she pretended to be in danger while I held her, the day I almost died. If only both her and Kane knew that I didn't want to go through with it, that yes, I did wanted to hold her in my arms but not in the harsh way I portrayed it to be. That day our trust reached boundaries I didn’t even know we had, because I trusted her word, and she trusted my instincts. She didn’t have to ask, she just knew I would catch her if she were to fall, purposely or not, I wouldn’t permit it, and she knew. So after everything was over, all I really wanted was to hold her and never let her go, and it suddenly became an unconscious competition between me and Kane, a different one, something foreign from our typical rivalry. He wants to protect Julie from me, and I want to protect her from him.   
  
Which explains why I've tried to keep her down here as much as possible lately… It makes me feel more at peace when she's here, away from Kane, work, threats and worries.   
  
The last day I saw her, she rushed out of the garage, because apparently she lost track of time, but before her rushed departure, I told to her, _'You know… This could end Jules, you don't have to work up there forever'_ and by that I meant the sudden stress that’s constantly consuming her before she realizes that she's late for her intern shift. And she gave me a sad smile, she knew what I was really trying to say, or more like ask. _'I'm sorry… But it's complicated, cowboy…'_ Again, I didn't want to question or take more of her time. But even if she was already late, the worried look on her face was different that day. It’s like she was in some kind of deep trouble and couldn't tell me. I don't think I'll ever forget that, it left bad taste in my mouth, a gut feeling that something wasn't right, and I let her go without protesting. And then Claire called… I was right.  
  
I tinker when I'm nervous, when worry decides to take over me; that's when my mind starts racing and I can't control it, I put myself to use and grease up. Chuck has already prohibited my handy work on Blonde Thunder, apparently I accidentally broke the pan gasket and now she's leaking oil all over the garage, so I don't really have a car to work on since Dutch's car is too complex for my skills, and Texas’s car is just… Just a mess sometimes. And then there's my bike, which I have to admit can sometimes become a challenge, but thanks to my uneasiness she's now fully updated and completely tuned.   
  
"Hey Mikey, are you gonna-" I hear Chuck's voice calling and then suddenly pausing, which causes me to raise my view at him. He's just standing there, staring at me; the repulsive look on his face a little difficult to ignore.  
  
"What?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at him.   
  
He shakes his head and scratches the back of his neck timidly. "Yeah… We might have to give you a couple of minutes to freshen up a bit before we leave.” He replies in a suggestive voice.  
  
I don't really understand what he means, and I can tell he knows I don't when he notices the questioning expression on my face. It’s only when I look down at my hands that his words make complete sense to me. I'm a mess! My hands are filthy with grease, my white shirt is probably undistinguishable at this point, and I recall scratching my nose a couple of times today, so I don't doubt there's a couple of black stains blotching my face.  
  
I glance at him sheepishly, and grab a dirty cloth that lies on top of my tool box; making a sad attempt to wipe some of the grease on my hands away. "Where are we going?" I ask very curiously.   
  
“Well, after you go and take a long and deep shower, we're gonna go grab a bite!" He informs as a matter-of-factly. The tone of his voice sounding rather demanding, like a parent telling his child what he has to do.   
  
I tilt my head, a little confused by his tone. "I'm not really hungry, Chuckles… You guys can go on ahead, I think I’ll pass.” I reply dismissively; my attention heading back to the chopper in front of me.   
  
A new set of foot steps can be heard, and I look up and notice Dutch walking towards me, and when he reaches my spot, a displeased look fixes itself over his features. I sigh, because I know what's coming.  
  
"Oh no you don't! This time you're coming with us, Mike!" He says very sternly.  
  
And I can't help the sudden frown on my face. “Well, you can forget it. Like I said, I'm not hungry…"   
  
"Have you eaten anything today?" He retorts, and I loose myself in my day's event…   
  
I don't really remember, so instead I lie. “Yes, of course.”   
  
"And when was that?! I don't remember seeing you in the kitchen all day.” He presses, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at me as he waits for my answer.  
  
"Uh… Earlier today…?” I mutter, turning my attention at the tool box sitting next to me; my hands picking up a wrench, as I silently beg for the interrogation to end.  
  
“No, you didn't!" Says Texas’s voice. "You just drank some coffee and that's it! In fact, you didn’t even drank the entire cup!”   
  
I roll my eyes. Great, just what I needed, for the entire team to nag at me about wether or not my “daily needs” are being taken cared of.  
  
“Well then, that’s more than enough reason for you to come with us!” Says Dutch, using Texas’s words as an advantage, and I instantly look away and cross my arms.   
  
Chuck walks up to me and places a supportive hand on my shoulder, causing my eyes to look up at him. “Mike, this has to stop! We’re all worried about you…”  
  
When I hear his words, I can’t help but to let out a sarcastic huff and stand abruptly, causing Chuck to back away ever so slightly. “You’re all worried about me?” I ask, as I raise a questioning eyebrow at them, and none of them hesitate to nod. I shake my head, not really believing what my eyes are seeing. “That’s cute! Really cute guys… But you’re all worrying about the wrong person here!”   
  
“Mikey…” Starts Chuck, his voice convincing. “I understand where you’r-“  
  
“No, you don’t, Chuck! You have no idea how I feel right now! None of you do!” I instantly retort, cutting him off along the process. And he just looks down at his feet; his hand scratching his other arm with shame.   
  
I notice that I’m suddenly agitated, in fact a little too agitated for my usual self that is… I look down, my eyebrows furrowing in thought and a sigh escapes my mouth. “Look, I’m sorry guys. It’s just that-“  
  
“You’re worried, we get it!” Dutch says; his voice suddenly understanding. I look up at him, and I meet his concerned eyes. “I know exactly how you feel, Mike. It’s the same way I felt when Tennie’s dad told me I couldn’t see her anymore,” He pauses and shakes his head, “you feel so helpless, but most of all you even miss her at the thought. Even though you’ve gotten through more than three days before without seeing her, but now it matters. And we understand.”  
  
“Wait!” Says Texas, his eyes rise up in thought, and a doubtful look takes over his features as he scratches his head. “This is about, Lisa?”  
  
I frown, and unimpressively nod at him, “It’s, Julie.” I correct him.  
  
“Nancy… Judith… Whatever! Dude, seriously? You should be throwing a party! In fact we should ALL be throwing a party!” His eyes widening at his sudden excitement, and his hands flailing in the air as if we’ve obviously missed something.   
  
“And why is that?” Inquires Chuck, ironically with little interest in what Texas has to say.  
  
“Hello! We’re always stuck with Miss. Deluxe! It’s time for us men to finally have an all guys day! A proper one that is… We could finally talk about whatever we want! And we could like binge out on junk food and have that burping contest I’ve been dying to have! Oh! Oh, and that action movie marathon! We could finally watch those movies without having her complain about getting bored! You know… All sorts of manly stuff! Like hang out in our boxers and play video games all day without offending anyone, trash the place without being insulted, skip a shower or two for a change!” Texas boasts.   
  
My scowl is still fixed on my face, I don’t think he gets the seriousness of the situation… Then again, when does he ever?  
  
“Uh… First of all, Chuck’s the one who’s always complaining about getting easily bored with your movies,” Starts Dutch, and he instantly earns a defensive yelp from Chuck. “Secondly, you’re just gross. It doesn’t really matter if Julie’s here or not, it’s still gross what you’re trying to do. And thirdly! You want to give Jacob a heart attack?! Trash the place, really? What you’re asking is to be kicked out of the garage and end up homeless!”  
  
A smirk grows on my lips at Dutch’s response. He’s absolutely right, even if we’re girl free, Jacob would never tolerate Texas’s behavior.  
  
“Aww come on! Mike’s already ahead of me on the showering part!” He adds, pointing a finger at me. My eyes widen, and even though he’s right about my current hygiene state; the look on my face changes to a grotesque one. It’s not like I want to be this dirty…  
  
“Tex, for the record, while you might be all excited about not having Julie around… There’s a slight chance that she’s in trouble right now, and we might not even know about it.” I inform him.  
  
“Come on, Mike, we don’t know that for sure! Besides, Claire said there’s nothing to worry about, that she’s fine and has full control of the situation. If you ask me I think we should trust her word. I mean, if she was in real trouble, don’t you think we would’ve known by now?” Chuck supports, and he’s right, but that doesn’t necessarily shakes the bad feeling I have about this.   
  
“No, Chuckles… I don’t think you understand.” My eyes, darting to his, “She’s done this before…” and I instantly earn questioning glares from them, “Okay, maybe not this obviously, but she has…” I look away in thought. “Like when she was trapped in that stupid safety suit. She was willing to sacrifice herself if it meant sparing my capture… Look what I’m trying to say is that, what if she’s keeping us away on purpose?”  
  
They’re all staring at me, unconvinced of my words.  
  
“Okay…? But don’t you think Claire would’ve told us, or at least hint us?” Dutch presses, and I instantly shrug and shake my head; for a brief moment, unable to understand the situation myself.   
  
“I don’t know guys… I know it’s weird, but I just have a feeling that something’s wrong. Call me crazy, but I just can’t help it…” I reply sheepishly. “Maybe you’re right Dutch, maybe I just miss having her around, because who am I kidding… She’s different to me now.”  
  
Texas looks bewildered by my words, as if I’ve spoken in a different language, Chuck gives me a half smile and Dutch smirks.   
  
“Dude, relax! That’s actually very normal!” Dutch reassures, “And it’s something that won’t go away anytime soon. That’s exactly how I am with Tennie, I’m always looking out for her; even when there aren’t any real threats to worry about.” and I think he notices the uncertain look on my face, because he chuckles softly and keeps explaining. “What I’m trying to say is that the way you’re feeling is completely natural. You want to protect what you deeply care for, or love, and well… In your case it’s Julie.”   
  
Someone actually spilled the cup for me, and It’s out there, it’s finally out there. Texas’s eyes widen and his jaw drops at the new discovery; at the same time fascinated by the information. My face suddenly feels warm, and for once I thank the grease staining my face, which I hope and pray it disguises the sudden flush on my cheeks.  
  
It’s not like I always planned to keep it hidden, but I always thought it would be Julie who I’d first admit it to… Regardless of her feelings, I wanted it to be her, and I wanted her to understand why I feel the way I do. The way she makes me feel complete whenever she’s around, the comfort she causes me whenever I see a bright smile on her face, that when I call her name it soothes me to see her turn to look at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. That all I really wish to do is to hold her close and never let her go...  
  
“Well, uh… Yeah… Right…” I reply, scratching the back of my neck with sudden shyness.   
  
“Mikey, it’s not like we just found out about this.” Chuck comments, a supportive smile is spreading across his face. “We just never really liked to talk to you guys about it… You know… We didn’t want to make it all awkward since you guys aren’t really officially going out yet, but you guys have been getting kind of close lately, and that’s no rocket science.”  
  
Unlike Dutch and Chuck, Texas folds his arms. And he doesn’t say it, but I can tell by the displeased look on his face that he’s not too thrilled by Chuck’s words. “Hold up! How come you guys didn’t fill me in on this?” He demands; the expression on his face changing to disappointment.   
  
“I thought nothing went pass Daddy Texas…” Dutch teases, and I chuckle at his response. Texas can be a little bit absentmindedly sometimes, which makes me ponder… Have I’ve been that obvious towards Julie? Does she know as well? We don’t really talk about it, but lately there’s been an obvious connection between us. Unless she’s toying with me… I shuffle my feet uncomfortably at the thought…  
  
“Oh this clearly went pass me! But lets not talk about that now…” He pauses and clears his throat, turning to face me. “Mike, how come you haven’t reached out to me for advise? You know I’m an expert with the ladies…” he finishes by flexing his muscles, and I can’t help the nervous grin on my face.  
  
“Ha! Says a single man!” Dutch retorts in sarcasm.   
  
“Hey I don’t necessarily need to be in a relationship to be good with the ladies. Unlike you guys, Texas doesn’t need to be tied up to be completely satisfied. I prefer to have fun, and date a couple of girls… No compromises, just fun and good ol’ lovin’ for Texas.”   
  
“When have you been on a date? I’ve never seen you with a girl before!” Adds Chuck, his voice filled with surprise.   
  
“And I haven’t seen you with a girl either!” Retorts Texas, raising a suspicious eyebrow.  
  
But Chuck sports a confident grin, somewhat accepting his challenge. He crosses his arms and stands proudly straight. “At least I’ve kissed one!”  
  
“Ah ha! Good save!” Yells Dutch; with a cheeky grin on his face he high fives Chuck.   
  
There’s laughter filling the entire garage, enough to contaminate me and ease the worry for just a brief minute or two. I have to admit, it’s good to have the guys around, I probably would’ve lost my sanity by now if it wasn’t for them.  
  
“Okay, okay… I’ll give you that one, Chuck, since we all saw it and all…” Texas says, trying his best to sound unimpressed, but failing terribly to do so as a smile keeps curling itself on his lips. “No but seriously, Mike! I’m here if you need any good tips on how to conquer Lisa’s heart!”   
  
I roll my eyes and chuckle. “Thanks for the offer Tex, but I think I’m good for now. And it’s, Julie…” I reply, playing along with his charade.  
  
“Julie, Cindy, whatever…” He shrugs. “I don’t want to be the one saying I told you so, when you come crying to tell me you’re tactics didn’t work! And will you hurry up? I’m starving man!” He suddenly turns and starts making his way towards Strong Horn.  
  
A hand suddenly touches my shoulder, and I turn to see that its Chuck. “Come on bro, I’ll wait for you!” He says with a warm smile.  
  
I nod defeatedly, because I have a feeling that I won’t be able to skip this time, “Alright, just give me a couple of minutes to clean up. We’ll meet you guys there.” I inform the rest, and they nod before Dutch and Texas mount their cars and leave, while Chuck just plops on the couch and opens up a holo-screen, his fingers ticking on the keyboard; keeping his mind busy while he waits for me.  
  
As I enter my room, I instantly remove my dirty shirt, while doing so I feel my stomach grumble… And for the first time in three days, hunger strikes an attack on me. Maybe Julie is safe and sound up there in Deluxe, and maybe I have been a little too paranoid about her being up there for too long… But one thing I know for sure that’s gotten completely out of my control, is how terribly I miss her right now… 


	4. 4 Julie

_Julie_

 

Four days, that’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen or talked to the guys. Four days that my hands haven’t gripped the cool metal of 9 Live’s steering wheel, and my ears haven’t loosen themselves in the heavenly sound of a running engine. My heart, it craves for the adrenaline rush that it usually gets every time I speed away from my father’s precious Detroit Deluxe and into Motorcity. It’s like it knows that something more exciting, colorful and more tasteful awaits its destiny.  
  
I’ve been punctually attending my intern shifts every morning for four days now, something I’ve never done before out of comfort for who I really am. It’s not that I never cared, I did, but I was mostly never supervised; which is why I never really prioritized my actual tasks, and instead I focussed more on not getting caught while I hacked my way onto KaneCo’s most restricted files. I have basically been a shadow to most of my fellow co-workers, so it was no surprise that when I finally did showed up I was like a stranger to them, even though I’m not entirely sure if they were the strangers to me.   
  
I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t belong in that office, with those strange people that don’t smile or look at you to at least acknowledge your presence, and when they do it doesn’t matter; there’s no emotion behind those cold eyes, not even a spark that would at least let me know if they’re fine or not. It leaves me thinking that I don’t want this, I don’t want people to fear the fact that they have the power to express themselves, to smile, to weep, to frown or to yell whenever they don’t agree with something. I don’t want their entire existence to become something mandatory, and it makes me sick to my stomach that only a few in this city are the privileged ones that have the luxury to at least slightly smile. And my stomach turns more. I am one of them, and even so, I’ve become restricted of my own privileges.  
  
“You better keep your pace if you still want to grab some lunch.” Red calls in his “oh so” natural bitter tone. I look up to notice that I’m a couple of feet behind him; my feet dreadfully dragging themselves with each step I take. I hate that he has to escort me to every single place I have to go, and I don’t hate it because I’m being supervised. Having Red as my personal guard makes me feel anything but safe, and he knows it, and it satisfies him that he knows I feel threatened by him. It makes him feel powerful, even though he doesn’t physically hurt me, but just the slight glint of fear I get in my eyes whenever he speaks is enough to fuel his ego.   
  
I try not to fear him, I really do, but it’s a little hard when I don’t know what his real intentions are. Why would he be wasting his time looking after an “uncontrolled” teenaged girl, when he could be down in Motorcity, searching for Mike’s neck?  
  
It’s not that I support it of course… But it’s the only thing I know from him, and I hate the fact that it’s _all_ I know as well. For all I know, this could be part of his evil scheme. He knows who I am. He knows that I’m Kane’s daughter and most valuable asset. Maybe he’s not as dumb as my dad’s taking him for, because after all, he is fighting along the person he should be seeking his rightful revenge from, and that makes me very delicate.  
  
“Are you deaf or what?” He presses, and I shake my head to push all my thoughts aside. I give him a stern look and finally catch up; not even daring to exchange a word with him.  
  
When we finally reach the dining hall, I pause and let the monotony sink in. Most people eat quietly while a few exchange a word or two, but their tones are barely made out of whispers, so quiet and polite just so they don’t disturb others, who probably choose not to socialize on what might be one of their few breaks during the day. I can’t help but to compare this atmosphere with the one I’m so used to down at Antonio’s, whenever we’re fueling up our personal tanks. I miss the laughter of the guys, and the constant clinking sound of silverware whenever it touches the ceramic plates, the smell of melting cheese on top of the baking pizza crust, and the burning sensation of warm soda whenever I swallow it too fast. Heck, I even miss Texas’s burps! All of that sounds luxurious compared to how we’re being fed up here… Tasteless food, and only water as choice of drink, because it’s the only necessary beverage for a human to survive, and we can’t forget our daily vitamins to supplement our body’s needs.  
  
I feel a soft push on the small of my back, and I turn to see that it’s Red, somewhat pressuring me to start the line for my nutritious lunch. And I annoyingly sigh and force myself forward.   
  
…  
  
After I grab my tray of food, I pause to search for an empty seat within the sea of people. My eyes slightly dart towards the entrance of the dining hall were Red is standing, guarding the place like a statue for my “safety”. And as people exit the hall, they can’t help the sudden curiosity and slight fear for his presence. But it’s impossible not to, he’s odd, and because of that he stands out; threatening, because his colors contrast the safety and clean light blue we’re used to comfort ourselves with, but most of all he’s not one of us, and it doesn’t matter that he’s purposely making it show by painting his symbol on top of the capital “K” on his armor, no. This is something you can even smell, a bad vibe that lingers in the air whenever you’re in a same room as him.  
  
“Jules!” I hear my nickname being called, and my lips quickly curl to a smile, because I instantly recognize the voice. Turning until I finally spot her, a warm smile growing on her face, and she points towards the empty seat next to her, my feet automatically guide themselves to the spot.  
  
“Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” I reply as I take a seat, my eyebrows furrowing even though my smile still remains spread across my face, after all, I’m still glad to see Claire.  
  
She giggles. “Girl, I still remember your intern lunch hours. I knew I’d find you here.”  
  
She knew she’d find me here? My smile slowly dies, and my feet shuffle uncomfortably. She was looking for me… Does this mean she has something to tell me? I glance back at Red, and analyze our distance. He should be out of earshot. At least I hope.  
  
I grab my silverware and start playing with my food, suddenly loosing appetite. My nerves are eating my insides; churning my stomach with unwanted worry. But I don’t want to sound or appear desperate, not here, not while I’m being watched. So I force a smile and take a bite of my food.  
  
“So… How have you been, Jules?” She starts, her voice casual and relaxed, but low and controlled as well.  
  
I swallow my food before I speak. “I guess we could say I’m fine… Just attending my daily shifts, and then…” I pause and sigh, “Having my lessons with my dad in the afternoons.” whispering that last part. It doesn’t matter that the people surrounding us don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m still careful. I always am.  
  
She nods, “And how’s the whole “keeping an eye on you” thing going on?” pointing her head towards the entrance of the dining hall where Red stands.  
  
I roll my eyes, “I can’t wait for that to be over.” admitting the tedious fact.  
  
“How much longer though?” Again, she asks casually. I assume it’s because she’s acting like we’re having a normal conversation… We don’t need to drag any unwanted attention.  
  
“I don’t know…” I reply with a shrug. “But I hope it’s soon! I don’t know how much longer I can take with that freak on my back 24/7.”  
  
A half pitiful smile grows on her, “That bad huh?” she adds.  
  
I nod. “You have no idea Claire. But on the plus side, I’ve been complying with my tasks, so hopefully it won’t be that long till dad decides to pull him off my back…”  
  
Claire nods, and turns her attention back to her food, and we’re suddenly surrounded by silence, and I bite my lower lip, I can’t control the urge to know.  
  
“How are they? Is everything okay down there?” I ask quietly, my eyes don’t even dare to meet with hers, even though it’s alright, she’s currently too busy chewing up her food, and her face is relaxed, so I don’t think she has any bad news to deliver. But that still doesn’t make the bad feeling go away.  
  
“Yes,” She finally replies. “everything is calm down there, no attacks or trouble… And the guys are fine.”   
  
I can breathe more calmly now; relieved to know that my second home is intact and unharmed, but most of all, that my friends are well… Even though my interest lingers more towards one person in specific. “And how’s…” I finally meet her eyes, my eyes filled with concern, and she nods slowly, because she knows what I’m asking.   
  
“He misses you…” And with Claire’s words, my heart skips a beat and my cheeks warm up. “A lot actually… Chuck even told me that he wouldn’t eat for like 2 days.” She adds, and I don’t know if I should be glad to know that he’s longing for me, or sad because he’s down and upset about my absence, or worried for his well being, or guilty because I’ve made him feel this way.   
  
I don’t say anything, instead I just let her words surround me with a strange comfort that I guess it’s only for me to comprehend. He misses me. Mike Chilton misses me, and so do I…   
  
Claire chuckles softly. “At first when I told him, he was so paranoid. He thought you were in danger, and wanted to come up here and look for you.”   
  
Suddenly my eyes widen in fear at her words. “He can’t! You told him he doesn’t need to worry about me, right?” I press a little desperate.  
  
She chuckles again. “Relax, Jules, I did. But you know how he gets sometimes…”  
  
I trust her word, I don’t however trust Mike’s instinct. I know what he’s capable of, and how desperate he gets sometimes… It’s something I’ve been battling with him ever since we’ve met.  
  
Claire’s hand touches my shoulder, and I look up at her. “Look I know you’re worried as well, and you’re being supervised all the time and all, so I know it’s not as easy as it sounds… But maybe a quick call might help, to both of you actually.” She says suggestively.  
  
My eyebrows furrow, and my eyes drop to the plate of food before me. “Claire… I- I can’t!” I sadly reply. And it’s not that I don’t want to, after all it’s not just driving or the food that I miss from Motorcity…  
  
“But what if you go to the bathroom or something? I’m pretty sure Mr. Freak over here doesn’t follow you there…”   
  
“It’s not safe, Claire… Bathrooms always have strong echo.” If only I was being watched over by any random cadet, heck, you can even put my father’s strongest ultra elite soldier to keep an eye on me, and I would still be able to outsmart them. But not Red, he’s different… And most of all, he’s my enemy as well… Anything I do can put either me or the Burner’s necks at risk, even the smallest action can cost me a lot, and unfortunately I can’t take the chance to loose; not the Burners, nor my father or my secret. Even though it’s all weighing me down at the moment, it’s all I have, and it’s the most valuable thing I keep to myself.   
  
“What about your hologram thingie? Can’t you just make one of those and just leave for a couple of minutes? I mean, you’re an expert with that sort of thing, surely there’s something you can do.”  
  
I know that sort of thing could work, and I know I have the tools and skills to fool him for a brief moment. But this is something I don’t want to risk… He’s always too close, and the only place I have to myself is my room, since my father blocked my pod access and Red’s the only one allowed to operate it whenever I need to go from one place to another. I know this is something I shouldn’t even be thinking about, I’ve already set my mind on focusing and get this whole thing over with properly, by my dad’s rules and even if I don’t like it, under Red’s supervision… But now I’m curious, and for some strange reason Mike worries me.  
  
“What are you doing later this evening?” I ask Claire very seriously, and she seems surprised by my question since her eyes widen.  
  
“Oh, um… I don’t know, I’ll probably shop for a bit after here, and chill on my pod afterwards. Why are you asking?” She inquires.  
  
I shake my head, because I know I’m not entirely sure this might work, but it’s worth a shot, “Do you mind if I stay over your place tonight?” I ask shyly, even though I already know the answer.  
  
She smiles excitedly, “Jules, you know I never mind having you over, but… You think your dad would let you?” and just like that, her smile dies and an uncomfortable look takes over my features.   
  
“I’m not sure… But I’ve been very responsible these past couple of days, so it won’t hurt to ask. The worst that could happen is that he says no, or to have Red there…” I roll my eyes at the last option. “But if only I can convince him to at least have him watch from afar… I don’t know…” I whisper my thoughts.  
  
Claire crosses her arms. “Well as long as that freak’s not at my pod, then I don’t have any problems with it.”  
  
“I’ll try my best, but unfortunately we can’t get our hopes up. My dad’s been on a good mood with me lately, but you know how he is… One moment it’s all peaches and cream, and the next, hell breaks loose.”  
  
“Well, let’s hope he’s in a peachy mood today!” She chuckles and so do I, and I have to admit, it’s the first time I’ve done so since this whole thing started, and that’s when I feel a heavy hand on my shoulders; causing my body to tense, because I know it’s not Claire’s hand that’s starting to slowly but strongly grip my shoulders.  
  
“I’m sorry to interrupt your little chit chat, princess, but unfortunately playtime’s over and, it’s time to get back to work!” Says Red, his voice vile and taunting.  
  
I close my eyes in irritation, because of course, he had to be the killjoy to my little moment. “I thought I told you to not call me that…” By now my smile has entirely been replaced by a frown, and my hands are slowly tightening themselves into fists, my teeth clenching at the feel of his touch. I just hate the effect he has on me…  
  
He chuckles softly to himself, as if my words were some kind of amusement show to him, and even though I’m not facing him I can feel him getting closer to my ear, and he whispers. “And I already told you… It seems suiting…”   
  
I remember the hair on the back of my neck rising, like pointy little needles when Duke sneaked up on me and took a creepy sniff of my hair the day we met him. The way I’m feeling right now is similar, but worst. It’s not just the hair behind my neck that rose up, its my entire skin reacting to his voice; my hands, they start to shake uncontrollably while my throat tightens. My hair feels like it wants to fall any moment now, and I swear he’s shocking me with his suit’s electric charge, because I can feel a current running down my spine. My eyes slowly dart to the hand he has placed on my shoulder, but to my surprise it’s not sparking anything.   
  
“Not just suiting… But I also love the way you get…” His words challenging, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for a duel.  
  
His hand slowly loose its grip, until it finally leaves my shoulder. My eyes widely opened while my lips slowly part, leaving a small gap in between, and I finally take a heavy, but unsteady breath. And I suddenly feel overpowered, insulted, small and afraid. And I feel like crying and telling my father about everything, about the way he makes me feel, and how he’s disrespecting me.   
  
Breathe…  
  
I just breathe, and I pretend that with every breath I take of this sanitized air cleans every bit of his tainted vibe away…  
  
It would never work anyway, it doesn’t matter that I tell my father about this. Technically Red hasn’t done anything wrong, and my Deluxe side’s supposed to trust him… I’m just letting my other life get in the way and complicate things for me.   
  
A light touch on my arm brings me back to reality, and I yelp and lightly jump on my seat as I turn to face Claire. Her eyes filled with concern. “Are you alright?” She asks worriedly.  
  
I force a nod at her. “Yeah, fine.” I don’t even grab my tray of food, I just stand quietly from my seat, cowardly hug my arms and start making my way towards the exit of the dining hall, where Red awaits to escort me for my next task scheduled for me to attend.  
  
…  
  
“Not everyone might agree with your decisions in the future, Julie Bear, but for their own good you have to be tough. Like when you were a child and were sick and didn’t want to take your medicine because you didn’t like the taste of it. You disagreed and protested, but in order for you to get better you had to take it rather you liked it or not, so I forced you, even though you spat it back at me and formed a tantrum whenever I got near you with a spoonful of cold syrup. Well, you could say it’s the same…”  
  
One would think that my father’s trying to explain the way he is to a 5 year old… But he just thinks I’m naive, and sometimes I think its best that he does. I should be yelling at him, the same way he said I did when I was small and didn’t want to take my medicine. I should be telling him that he shouldn’t compare such thing to how reality actually is. That both the people of Deluxe and Motorcity have the right to speak if they don’t agree with something, and that a good leader always listens to its citizen’s suggestions before making a final decision. He treats me like a child and tries to candy coat things for me, and I pretend to agree when in reality, I’m mentally reminding myself to do the exact opposite. Like taking notes of what I shouldn’t do when it’s my time to take over.   
  
It’s not always like this of course, some lessons are actually very helpful. I may be a good hacker here in Deluxe, but I don’t know all the codes and secrets he keeps only to himself. I don’t know how to run certain programs, and he does. For example, there’s a couple of engineering programs that are essential for the city’s structural function… I smirk to myself, Chuck would go ballistic over these. And I know that I don’t have to 100% understand all of the programs, but I have to at least know the basics of how things work, I’m not going to be the person that’s going to initially work on those departments, but things would probably have to go by me before they get started.  
  
“Do you understand, Julie?” He asks in a calm voice, and I nod apprehensively.   
  
“Good, well I think that’s enough for today.” He stands from the conference table we were currently using, and I slowly push the chair back to free myself as well. “I have another meeting in a couple of minutes, so I’ll probably meet you back home for dinner.” He informs as a matter-of-factly, and he starts making his way towards the exit.  
  
“Wait!” I call to him, and he turns; raising a curious eyebrow at me. “I have something to ask you…” I say timidly as I stand and walk towards him.  
  
He gives me an unexpected look, and I presume it’s because I never have anything to say after a long session with him, but this isn’t about the lesson.   
  
“I was wondering…” I start, and my fingers automatically find distraction as they twist themselves in a lock of hair. “I know I’m not supposed to, but I’ve actually been very responsible these past couple of days. You even said so yourself when we started today’s lesson. You talked about how impressed you were with my progress, and how dedicated I’ve been with my tasks…”   
  
He folds his arms, but at least the look on his eyes stays calm and interested with what I have to say. “Mmhmm…” He supports.   
  
“And well, today at lunch I bumped into Claire, which you know I haven’t seen or talked to in a couple of days. Anyway, she asked if it was okay for me to stay at her place tonight, she wants to do a girls night, you know… Mani-pedi, look at clothes catalogs, watch movies… You know… Girl stuff!”   
  
When I think I’ve finally sold it to him, the look on his eyes drop and hardens, and I start to get nervous even though I told myself over and over again not to get my hopes up about this. If only there was something I could use to top it… Think Julie, think!  
  
“If it helps, Red can be there!” I add immediately, my eyes closing in irritation as I mentally curse at myself for what I’ve just said. I quickly recover and open them again, my eyes fixing themselves on my father’s, and to my surprise his features look more relaxed, even though that doesn’t make it easier for me.  
  
“You’re right. Your work has been outstanding these past couple of days, Julie. So I would say, you’ve earned the time.” He says, and a smile forms at the end of his sentence.  
  
But I’m not sure if I want to go through with it now. “So… I can go?”   
  
“Yes, you can, but…”  
  
Here comes what I’m dreading the most, the conditions. “Red doesn’t necessarily have to be in the same pod as you, but he has to be able to track it. If that’s alright with Claire of course… He’ll also escort you to her pod, and he’ll pick you up first thing in the morning to make sure you make it back on time to your shift…” He finishes.  
  
A smile grows on my lips, hope has risen again inside of me. “Of course!” I reply gladly.   
  
“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” He says, and I can’t contain my excitement that I almost tackle him to the ground when I run at him and wrap my arms around his torso.  
  
“Thank you daddy!”   
  
He smiles, and kisses the crown of my head before he leaves.  
  
…  
  
What Red does whenever my father gets home every evening is unknown to us. He just leaves, and I assume he just goes to rest like any normal person would do after a long day at work. Where he decides to meet his slumber is also a mystery to me, but tonight he will not rest, he’ll be inside another pod not too far behind from Claire’s, keeping an eye on what we’re doing, making sure that Claire doesn’t guide her pod to somewhere restricted, but most of all, making sure that I’m safe, even though he’s my actual threat.  
  
It’s getting dark, and I stand quietly next to Red as he guides my pod to Claire’s. My hands are nervously gripping my backpack, while my mind tries its best to focus on my evening’s plan.  
  
“You better not pull any shenanigans tonight, and stay exactly where you said you’re gonna be.” I dart my eyes at him, and judging by the tone of his voice I imagine that whatever lies behind that mask is looking back at me dead serious.  
  
But at this moment, I’m too excited about finally getting away from him, even though that’s not entirely true. “Why Red, I would never do such things!” I reply mockingly.   
  
“What I mean is, don’t do anything you might regret later on!” He warns harshly, and even though I’m playing along, I’m taking it as a huge consideration.   
  
Our pod finally connects with Claire’s, and she greets me joyfully as she welcomes me into her quarters. I look back to where Red stands, and I feel like taunting him by doing something stupid, like sticking my tongue out at him, but I don’t, instead I opt for a simple hand wave before I finally make the cross to Claire’s pod.  
  
“I’ll be here at seven o’ clock sharp to pick you up, and you better not keep me waiting.” Red informs me, and I roll my eyes and nod before both pods finally part.  
  
“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe your dad let you spend the night! Oh I’m so excited!” Claire chimes in, and I chuckle to support her excitement even though my eyes are glued to the parting pod behind us.  
  
“Yeah, I know! It took some self bribing, but I finally convinced him…” I say, trailing off as the pod looks tinier and tinier with every second that passes.  
  
“You know you can put your bag down, right?” Says Claire suggestively, and I turn and blink at her. My hands tightening themselves on the straps.  
  
“Right…” I reply a little absentmindedly.   
  
“Are you okay?” She asks, a little worry could be sensed in her tone of voice and she’s suddenly walking towards me, and I immediately turn to face her, a full wide smile on my face, and it’s impossible to ignore the sudden widening of her eyes.  
  
“I’m super! But Claire can you do me a huge favor?” I say, my smile never dying.  
  
She looks confused, and I wouldn’t blame her, “Um… Sure, I guess…?” she agrees and shrugs a little unsure.  
  
I giggle, but it’s not at her, it’s for show. “Could you go sit by your bed and look happy while doing so?”   
  
She raises an eyebrow, but her lips curl to an unconvinced grin, “Okay…?” and she starts making her way to her bed, with her awkward smile plastered on her face. And that’s when I finally put my backpack down, I open it slightly and place it right in the middle of the room. Very carefully I pull a small device, so small that it’s easily concealed in the palm of my hand.  
  
“Good, just stay there, and pretend like you’re having a blast until I tell you to stop.” I say in between a cackle, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she has a million questions to ask, but she pushes her worries aside for now and does what I tell her. And it’s my queue, I press the button on the small device in my hand, and my holograms come to life, taking over every inch of glass Claire’s pod has to offer.  
  
“What are you doing?” She asks in between a forced giggle.  
  
“I’m safe proofing your pod, so whoever’s watching thinks we’re having one heck of a sleepover!” I explain with a wide smile, “And…” the last holo-pixel is in place, and my smile dies as I let out a relieving breath. “We’re safe.”   
  
Her smile disappears as well, and she looks around her pod, taking in the projections that are playing on the glasses; a disbelieving scoff escapes her mouth. “All this for a phone call? Geez, couldn’t you just go to the bathroom and make the call, and then we wouldn’t have to “appear” or pretend like we’re having what we already had planned to do?” She pauses and shakes her head. “I’m a little lost here, Jules.”  
  
She raises an eyebrow at me, and I kneel down to where my backpack lays on the ground. I give her a guilty look and I bite my lower lip as I pull my grappling hook and wires, and that’s when she understands. The expression on her face suddenly changes to hurt as realization hits her. “Y-you’re not staying are you?”  
  
And I don’t know what to tell her. “I’m so sorry Claire…”  
  
She looks away and softly, yet sarcastically chuckles to herself. “I should’ve known better.” She says shaking her head, clearly upset at me.  
  
“Look, Claire, I’m sorry okay? But I promise this won’t take long.” I try to explain.  
  
She rolls her eyes until they finally meet with mines. “Why can’t you just compromise with a simple phone call?” she presses.  
  
I sigh. “You don’t know Mike…”   
  
“I’m pretty sure he’ll understand.” She pauses and sighs. “Jules, you’re risking everything right now just to talk to him, what difference does it make if you call or talk to him in person?”  
  
I stay quiet for a couple of seconds, letting her words eat at my conscience… None of this is going to be easy. “A lot.” I reply in almost a whisper.   
  
She sighs heavily and closes her eyes, while her hand softly rubs her forehead. “How long are you going to take?” She asks in an almost irritated tone.   
  
And I immediately look at her, a smile creeping on my lips. “An hour, maybe an hour and a half… I promise I’ll be back in max two hours. And that’s it! I’ll try to get back as soon as I’m done! I just need to talk to him, and hopefully that won’t take long.”  
  
She scoffs again. “Fine.” She replies defeatedly, and I immediately run to her for a hug.  
  
“Thank you so much Claire!”  
  
“Yeah yeah… So the hologram… How long does it last?” She asks with concern.  
  
“Don’t worry, I set it for 4 hours, and it changes constantly… As long as you don’t touch it, it’s fine. I’ll give you a call when I get back to locate your pod.” I strap the gear safely around my waist and thighs, but before I leave, I make sure Red is nowhere near Claire’s pod, which I don’t notice.  
  
“I have to go.” I tell her, strapping the bag neatly on my back, and she nods and slowly starts lowering the pod, not in an obvious way of course but slowly and discreetly, enough for my rope to get me safely on the ground. I open the emergency floor hatch and take a deep breath; analyzing the distance until I’m pleased, even though that doesn’t change my odds of getting caught. I really hope Red is just tracking from afar, and not really paying attention… “Wish me luck!” I say before I sit and let my feet dangle freely in the open air.  
  
She rolls her eyes but eventually smiles at me. “With all this you’re putting yourself through, I really hope you at least kiss him!”   
  
“Hah!” I laugh nervously before I make my quiet jump to the white grounds of Deluxe…   
  
And as I descend I can’t help the uncomfortable thought… It’s not a kiss I’m hoping for…   
  



	5. 5 Mike

_Mike_

 

  
“I don’t know what you’re complaining about, you did really good today, Chuckles!” I say, turning to face a concentrated Chuck behind Blonde Thunder’s wheel. He quickly glances at me, his hands strongly gripping the wheel as a nervous grin gradually grows on him.  
  
  
“Oh come on, I wasn’t that good.” He says with embarrassed modesty, quickly returning his concentration to the road before him.  
  
  
I smile and lean back relaxedly on the passenger’s seat, because I’ve finally found something worth preoccupying my mind for. Maybe a distraction for now, but something definitely worth the time, it’ll be nice and handy to have another vehicle and driver to count on, specially in times like these when we’re a Burner short.   
  
  
“Well, you were way better than yesterday and previous times that’s for sure!” I add, rolling my eyes along the process.  
  
  
“Yeah, that’s true… But I still have to work on my parallel parking, that’s where I’m totally flaking at.” He admits a little dreadful.  
  
  
And I chuckle at his words, not to make fun of him of course, but because that seems to be every beginner’s dilemma. “Relax bro, that’s actually something really common! And if it makes you feel any better, we can practice on the garage’s parking lot. We can probably set Strong Horn and Whiptail in position so you can practice with space accuracy…”  
  
  
He looks at me with disbelief, and if we were farther away from HQ I would’ve probably snapped at him for taking his eyes off the road. I personally tend to do it, but I’m way more experienced than him, and I know these roads the same way Chuck religiously knows the science behind a computer’s programing.  
  
  
“No way bro!” He protests.  
  
  
Raising a curious brow at him, and straightening myself in my seat, I reply. “No?”  
  
  
“I don’t want to damage any of the cars, and I certainly don’t want to damage Whiptail…” He pauses, and I notice him shudder at the thought. “You know how Dutch gets every time his car gets scratched, besides, he did some paint job this morning, I highly doubt he’ll pitch his car in for this.”   
  
  
“Hmm…” I muse and nod, somewhat agreeing with his words. “Yeah you’re right.” I shrug nonchalantly.  
  
  
“Well, of course I’m right!” He affirms confidently.   
  
  
I smirk at his tone, but it quickly dies as I shrug and carelessly close my eyes, “Of course, you wouldn’t have to worry about crashing or scratching anything if you followed my instructions properly…” I say in a suggestive teasing tone.  
  
  
“Aww come on! I do follow your directions, Mikey, but you can’t expect me to just learn things out of the blue! I’ve barely learned to drive more smoothly, and I’m still a little uncomfortable about reaching 60mph… Baby steps bro, baby steps!”   
  
  
I recognize that I’m a little impulsive, but truth is, now that I don’t have Mutt I’m a little more flexible on the road, but that also means I’m more vulnerable to the enemy’s eye. The idea alone of having another car on the road makes me feel more at ease. And it isn’t just because I know Chuck will have my back, or because Blonde Thunder will fill the void Mutt left on our group, it’s mostly about getting Chuck out there, it’s about boosting up his confidence in general. I want him to grow fond of the idea of driving, I want him to experience the same passion me and the rest of the Burner’s feel whenever that glorious sound of an igniting engine runs as soon as we turn the key. How amazing it is to freely press on the gas pedal and speed off just to feel that gust of wind blowing at our faces, that exhilarating chill that runs down my spine every time I reach that perfect high speed.  
  
  
Of course, I don’t intend him to become any of us, but I want him to enjoy the passion of driving, the same way we treasure ours.  
  
  
“You know, If Mutt was still here I’d totally pitch in to help you out with this parking thing.” I say, my sad attempt at brightening up the situation. Even though I previously forbid him from using Mutt as his training wheels, I mean it, and maybe it’s because she’s gone that I don’t care anymore, or because maybe Chuck practicing with Mutt doesn’t even compare to what really happened to her.   
  
  
He looks at me, a little surprised for my comment, and gives me a half smile.  
  
  
“I would add the bike… But unfortunately it won’t be that accurate for analyzing the space properly.”  
  
  
“Oh no, I would probably crush the thing!” Chuck says, a little frightful at the thought.   
  
  
I note that he’s suddenly slowing down, and I look up to meet with the Garage’s gate. Chuck presses a button on his panel and the gate starts to slowly rise; granting us access to our HQ. He starts forward once the gate is fully open.  
  
  
I guess it’s instinct that my eyes briefly survey our surroundings, and as they do I keep our conversation going. “Don’t worry, Chuckles, there’s probably something around the garage we could use for-“ I pause, the words disappearing from my mind as my eyes suddenly fix themselves upon the black and yellow police cruiser parked on it’s reserved usual spot; finally where it belongs, keeping fair company to the rest of the Burner’s cars. My mouth slowly parts in shock, and I even blink a couple of times to make sure that I’m not imagining things.  
  
  
Chuck let’s out a short surprised laugh, “Hey, dude, isn’t that 9Lives?” he inquires, and even though I’m not facing him, I can hear the smile in his voice.  
  
  
“Stop the car!” I immediately demand, and the car comes to an abrupt halt. Both of our bodies launch forward as a result for the brutal stop, but we’re quickly pulled back thanks to our seat belts, slamming harshly against the back. But I don’t pause, I burst the door open and for a slight second even forget that I’m tied to my seat. I don’t think twice about freeing myself, and my hands quickly comply as well.  
  
  
“Dude, what gives?!” Chuck protests, but I’m already stepping out of the car. “You know I’m not that good at parking without your guidance! What am I supposed to do with the car?!” He demands, and I can sense the urgency in his insecure tone.  
  
  
I feel guilty, I know how jittery he tends to get when he’s behind the wheel by himself, but just like a switch, my priorities has suddenly changed. “Just put the car on parking and turn off the engine.” I quickly say, hoping he catches on my words.  
  
  
I’m wasting time, and I don’t think I can handle another second without knowing if she’s really here or not. I need to make sure, I just need to see her face and make sure that she’s fine, and most of all safe, so I turn my speed walk into a run.  
  
  
“You just want me to leave it here?!” Chuck shouts frantically from afar.  
  
  
“We’ll deal with it later!” I yell dismissively, and I finally hear the engine stop, and my pace quickens, towards the bar, to the rest, and hopefully to her.   
  
  
I climb the stairs, 2-3 steps at a time, and when I finally reach my destination I’m completely out of breath, panting like sweating dog, and I feel little droplets of sweat trickling down my cheek. I quickly wipe them away and start towards the bar, where Jacob stands behind the counter, Dutch and Texas stand, no, they’re not just standing, mostly surrounding one of the stools.  
  
Jacob is the first to notice my presence, and he quickly glances at my direction and gives me a half smile. Dutch follows along and grins at me, letting out a chuckle and stepping aside. “Well look who finally made it back!” He says, but he’s mostly announcing it, and while he does, Julie pulls back a little in her seat until her eyes finally meet mines, and I feel the sudden rush of relief tackling my entire body. She’s really here, and she’s in one piece, unharmed.   
  
  
She smiles warmly, and twists her body in the stool so she’s fully facing me.  
  
  
“Jules,” I breathe out, and I can’t control it, I start towards her; wrapping her into a tender hug, which she quickly replies by tangling her small arms around my neck.  
  
  
“Hey cowboy…” She speaks softly into my ear, and it’s like music. I close my eyes slowly and let her sweet voice consume me, and it’s automatic and surprisingly mutual that our arms tighten around each other, as if we’re silently begging to never let go of each other, and quite frankly, I wish to remain like this for the rest of my days…  
  
  
“Julie! You’re really here!” I hear Chuck call from behind us, and I instantly let go of her. As much as I don’t want to I can’t be selfish, we’re all her friends, and we all equally deserve some answers.   
  
  
I step aside, and she smiles to Chuck. “Yes, it really is me… And in the flesh!” She says as a matter-of-factly, and she folds her arms and straightens herself in her seat, the look on her face playfully proud.   
  
  
We all chuckle at her words, and she exchanges a hug with Chuck as well. I can tell that she’s relieved, but mostly happy to be here, or maybe it’s just our entire company that soothes her, I’m not entirely sure, but it’s good to see her smile; laughing along with us as if nothing ever happened.   
  
  
“Okay, okay, okay…” Texas interrupts, walking towards Julie, and with a hand he silently asks us to quiet down. “Enough chit chattering! Now, Lucy,” And I instantly roll my eyes and shake my head with a smile, typical Texas. Julie on the other hand raises a brow and stares back at Texas a little perplexed. “you care to explain to Texas how did you escape Kane’s um…” He pauses, I think to choose his words wisely? “Wherever it was that he was keeping you?” He finally finishes, and all eyes fall to Julie, including mines, because it’s no secret we all want to know how it is that she is here.  
  
  
Her recent cheerful eyes quickly sadden, and her gaze falls to the ground. “I… I didn’t exactly escape…” She softly admits, with a little shame in her expression.   
  
  
“What do you mean you didn’t escape? We’re not imagining you here, are we?” Dutch presses, giving her a suspicious look.  
  
  
Julie glances at him, “No, you’re not imagining things… But I didn’t necessarily escape.” and points out, and she sighs heavily before jumping from the stool, her heels clicking once they make contact with the floor. “Look, guys, I’m still under Kane’s radar!”  
  
  
My stomach turns and I clear my throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable by her words, but not because of me, it’s mostly because of her. Does Kane knows where she is right now? Who she’s with?   
  
  
I can tell the rest feel the same way. Dutch’s suspicious look has completely intensified, Chuck has shifted his weight to one side and is nervously gripping one of his arms, Texas looks confused, and Jacob has a stern look in his eyes, as if he’s thinking deeply about something. Though it doesn’t take him long to speak, and he raises his gaze to meet Julie’s. “What do you mean you’re still under Kane’s radar?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.   
  
  
Her eyes widen, and she immediately shakes her head to dismiss her previous words. “Oh! It’s not like that!” She quickly says to clear the air. “Before anything else is assumed, no, Kane doesn’t know where I am, nor is he tracking me. Trust me, I made sure of that…” She pauses and breathes heavily before she continues. “Look, everything’s fine. I just have to hang on for a couple of more days, or maybe weeks, but hopefully not much longer than that until Kane realizes that I’m “out of danger”, at least to his eyes.”     
  
  
“What do you mean “out of danger”? You’re not in danger!” Texas points out, as if she’s missed something entirely obvious, but I know exactly what she’s referring to, and I dig my hands into my pockets and look to the ground with a strange let down look on my eyes.   
  
  
“Kane thinks I’m a target to you guys. Well… Actually, mostly to Mike…” She admits a little shyly, but her words cling to me with such power that I look up to meet her eyes. “This whole thing was entirely my fault guys, but I think this is the best way to get through this. The more I can keep my distance, the less Kane will suspect, and the sooner we can all get through this.”   
  
  
The rest nod understandingly, even though some of them still carry that look of doubt in their eyes.  
  
  
“I’m fine guys, really. I’m safe and nothing bad is happening to me. My…” She pauses, closes her eyes and quickly bites her lip, as if she’s silently cursing herself for something she did, but she quickly recovers with a nervous sigh, “My guardian,” she continues with a careful tone. “has finally let me out of my room for leisure hours, and he let me spend the night at Claire’s house, which explains how I got here.”   
  
  
“Okay…? But you sure you weren’t tracked?” Chuck asks a little nervous, still sounding unconvinced about the situation.  
  
  
Julie frowns and forces a nod. “Yes, I’m sure I wasn’t tracked!” She pauses, and brings a hand to her forehead to softly massages her temples, “Look, I don’t really have much time,” her hand falling to her side, and her expression suddenly softening, “and while it’s really good to see you guys, because believe me I’ve missed you all… Including you Texas…” she says rolling her eyes with a smirk, and Texas gives her a warm smile, “But…” and she starts walking towards me. “I actually came here to talk to Mike.”   
  
  
My eyes spread with surprise as I look down at her, and she’s softly clutching my arm.   
  
  
“Me?” I ask unexpectedly.   
  
  
She breaks eye contact with me, and she looks around nervously. I can see her cheeks blushing, and I’m not sure if that’s contagious or not, because I can feel mines heating up as well.  
  
  
“Um… Yes,” And we both look at the rest of the guys a little speechless, until she clears her throat and softly pulls me away. “alone, if you don’t mind?” She says a bit suggestively.   
  
  
“Pffft, fine by me…” Dutch says smoothly, folding his arms as a smirk grows on him.   
  
  
“What?! No! How come we can’t listen to whatever you have to say to Mike? I thought we were all friends here!” Texas protests, but quickly gets pulled away by a smiling Chuck and Dutch.  
  
  
“Oh for god’s sake! Just give these two some space will ya’!” Jacob yells at him.  
  
  
“Come on…” Julie says quietly, this time grabbing my hand and pulling me down the stairs towards the parked cars. I can’t believe what’s happening that I can’t even control the smile that’s suddenly growing on my lips. Once we reach them, she lets go of my hand, and I follow her until we finally stop in the back of 9Lives. She remains quiet, but judging the look on her eyes, she’s battling with what she has to say, so I try and bring a conversation to loosen the tension within her.  
  
  
“I bet you missed driving…” I comment, and she looks at me and smiles fondly; her hands softly pats 9Live’s roof, as if she’s petting a real life animal with such love and care.  
  
  
“I did,” She pauses and chuckles softly, “Even if it was just for four days…” and her smile slowly disappears. “and I’ll miss it even more in the next couple of days… Or weeks…”  
  
  
I look down. I can’t imagine not driving for one day. I know I’ve lived without it before, but once you experience it or find yourself behind that wheel, its like all of your problems disappear. A drive is always the best cure for a troubled mind. If we’re bored, a drive is always the solution. It’s fun, energetic, and it’s peaceful… At least to me…  
  
  
I wish to make her feel better, to bring that smile back on her lips, the same way her presence brings it to mines. And as I think about my options, I start to suddenly feel bold, after all, I don’t know when I’m ever going to see her again.   
  
  
“You know…” I start, and she looks up to me with expectant eyes. “I also wanted to talk to you about something.”   
  
  
She gives me a surprised look, but nonetheless, she smiles and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, even though it’s kind of useless since it quickly falls back to it’s usual place. “Really?” She asks a little shyly.  
  
  
“Yeah, but I’ll wait until you’re done.” I quickly say, and I mean my words. I’m very much eager, but I’m way more interested in what she has to talk to me about. What she has to say to me in private.  
  
  
She quirks an eyebrow, and for a slight second she looks disappointed. “Oh… You know what, I- I think it’s better if you’d go first.” She says it with a bit of reluctance, and I can’t help to wonder why.  
  
  
“Are you sure?” I ask, and she takes a couple of seconds to think, but she nods.  
  
  
“Yes, trust me, it’s better this way.” She insists and to top it, she gives me a reassuring smile, and that’s all I really need to boost my confidence up.  
  
  
“Okay then,” I take a deep breath, because I’ve never done this before. “Well, it’s not exactly something to talk about,” She tilts her head slightly, her curious eyes staring back at my suddenly nervous ones. “It’s actually more of a question I wanted to ask you… You see, I was wondering that when this whole thing ends, and everything’s back to normal, if you’d like hang out? You know… Just you and me, like on a date?”   
  
  
Her eyes glimmer and smile for half a second second, as if I’ve said something she’s been expecting and craving to hear for a long time, her lips start to curl, but quickly falter along with that spark of hope in her eyes, like she suddenly remembered something to oppose her previous emotions.   
  
  
“Oh…” She replies softly, her gaze falling to the ground in disappointment. I never considered myself as a shy person, but for some reason she makes me nervous; timid to express myself. Have I said something wrong? Did I somehow offended her? I rewind my words in my mind to analyze each and every single one of them, but nothing alarming ever left my mouth.  
  
  
I clear my throat and place my hands inside my jacket’s pockets. “Um… You know, Jules, since…” I pause and bite the inside of my cheek, briefly rehearsing the words I’m going to say next inside my head. “It’s no secret we’ve been getting kind of close lately… I just thought I’d finally made it official.” I say softly, and I shift my eyes to her. She nods softly, and I can tell it’s not out of agreement, but mostly to acknowledge the words I just spoke. She doesn’t meet my eyes, instead she finds more comfort with the grainy asphalt resting beneath her feet, and it’s as if she’s avoiding to look back at me.  
  
  
I furrow my eyebrows; I’m a bit disappointed by her reaction, but it was never my intention to make her feel this way. “Jules,” I start, but she still doesn’t look at me. “I’m sorry… Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…” I say, in a low voice; regretting my previous offer to her.  
  
  
I can hear her take a deep and unsteady breath, and she slowly shakes her head. “Actually, Mike, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…”  
  
  
Her eyes finally meet mines, and it’s kind of dreadful to watch the regret they contain within them. “Oh, really?” I ask, because it’s interesting to see the contrast of our emotions when it comes down to the same subject.  
  
  
“Yes… Mike, I know we’ve been getting close lately,” And I stare at her with much interest, “and it’s a little hard to deny that my feelings for you have grown as well.” I notice the light blush on her cheeks for the sudden confession, and she smiles sadly at the thought. “I really want you to know that there’s nothing I would love more right now than to go out with you. I think it’s something we’ve both been wanting for a while now. But unfortunately, it’s something I’m gonna have to pass down.”   
  
  
I shake my head slowly, even though I kind of saw it coming. Her previous silence spoke for itself. “I… I don’t understand.” Is all I supply.   
  
  
“Mike, my life is really complicated at the moment, and it’s not that I don’t care or feel the same way as you, I do, I really do, trust me when I say this. I’ve never had strong feelings for anyone else before, at least not the way I feel them for you…” She bites her lower lip, a bit hesitant to speak her next words. “I just don’t think I should drag you along with all my problems.”   
  
  
“Julie, if this is about your life up in Deluxe, I’ve told you a bunch of times that it doesn’t have to be this way. You know you don’t have to keep proving your loyalty, and I know you want to help in all ways possible, but your safety matters more to me than some hacked restricted information.” I take a couple of steps towards her and grab both of her hands. “You can leave, Julie, you can leave Deluxe, and you won’t have to worry about being late for a shift, or about getting caught anymore. You know it’s not safe up there, and I can promise you that everything will be different down here.”  
  
  
Once again, her gaze meets the ground. “It’s not that easy…” She comments, and she slowly lets go of my hands.   
  
  
I look at her confusedly. “You always say the same thing! How is it not that easy? Julie, you’re choosing to live this way. Everybody has problems, but they don’t always have to carry the burden by themselves, you know. I don’t care if you want to have me as your boyfriend or not, regardless, I’m here to help you, you don’t have to do this by yourself… Because you and I both know you’re not safe, specially not when Kane’s keeping an eye on you…”  
  
  
She gives me a hurt look, as if I’ve said something to offend her. Her eyes start to glisten, and her lips quiver, and she tries her best to contain herself by taking deep but unsteady breaths, but it’s useless as a tear finally makes its fall. She quickly wipes it away with the heel of her hand, and immediately turns away to conceal her distressed features from me. Even though I don’t know what I’ve done or said wrong, I feel guilty, I never meant for her to feel this way. A sigh escapes me, because I hate to see her like this as well, I place a hand on her shoulder and she quickly turns to face me; her big brown eyes reddened and glossy, and her cheeks stained with fallen tears.  
  
  
“Jules…” I say softly, “I’m so sorry…” and I gently wipe a freshly fallen tear from her cheek with my thumb. With one of her small gentle hands, she grabs mines, but she doesn’t pull it away from her face, instead she caresses it, and as do I.  
  
  
“It’s not fair…” She chokes out, as new tears trickle down her cheek, but before she can react I’m already wiping them away. Her arms wrap themselves around my torso as she leans towards my chest, and this time she doesn’t hold it back, she breaks down, and I don’t think she realizes that with every sob she breaks me.   
  
  
I wrap her into a tender hug, gently rubbing her back; softly cradling her from side to side. My chin rests on the crown of her head, and for a couple of seconds I indulge myself in her sweet flowery aroma, its kind of become one of my favorite things… “What’s not fair is you disabling yourself to live a normal life…” I speak softly, while my hand gently caresses the back of her head.  
  
  
She leans back ever so slightly so her eyes meet mines, and she slowly shakes her head.   
  
  
“This isn’t about me, Julie, and I’m not saying this just because I have strong feelings for you. I’m talking to you as a friend… I can help you, just please let me help you.” I desperately plead, and I’m being entirely honest about my words.  
  
  
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t…” She sadly replies as fresh tears emerge from her eyes.  
  
  
“I don’t understand.” I admit a little frustrated.  
  
  
She lets out a breath, and grab both of my hands. “I don’t necessarily expect you to, Mike.” She replies. “At least not for now…”  
  
  
“Julie, you know you can trust me.”   
  
  
She places a hand on my cheek and softly caresses it. “Mike, ever since we met, you’ve been nothing but trusting of me. Out of everyone, you’re the one who’s never doubted me,” She pauses to gasp for air. “you showed me, that even in the darkest corners there’s always a glimmer of hope… I can’t tell you what’s going on with my life right now, and I’m deeply sorry, because I know I can trust you. I just don’t want to hurt you.”  
  
  
We remain silent for a couple of seconds as I let her words sink in, but even still, I’m having a hard time accepting them. “Is it someone else?” I dreadfully ask, “Does it have to do with Kane?” and I lift my view to her, and I must admit that I’m a little scared to know the answer.   
  
  
She shakes her head and leans towards me; slowly pulling me to her, and when she’s finally at me level, she plants a soft kiss on my cheek. “I need you to promise me something.” Her voice barely a whisper, and her fingers softly brush the hair on the back of my neck, causing my skin to prickle at the action.  
  
  
I’m not sure if she’s trying to manipulate me with her actions, because I quickly reply, “Anything.” without even thinking it twice.  
  
  
She backs away slowly, her eyes staring back at mines; already apologetic for what she has to say. “One day, I won’t be able to keep things from you anymore, and time will speak for itself… Mike, I need you to promise me that you’ll understand that everything I’ve done or do, was and will be to protect you. I may be a coward now, because I don’t think I could ever live with the fact that I’m capable of hurting you, and quite frankly I don’t want to find out. But one day you will know, I promise you will, and I won’t judge your reaction, I will respect it… I just need you to understand that I never ever meant to hurt you or any of the guys, that my heart and soul is in the right place, and I will do whatever it takes to do what’s right, even if it means making drastic sacrifices.”  
  
  
Her words are heavy, and I honestly don’t know how to take them. Besides what she assumes about my reaction, I could never imagine myself hating her… And I still insist that things could be simpler for her if she just left it all behind and resigns to Deluxe. I want to trust her, because I can’t imagine not to, but I also fear for her, fear for the true meaning behind her words. She doesn’t know it, but she has already cut me, and I’m scared to dig through my wound.   
  
  
“It’s better this way…” I give her a hurt look. “I don’t deserve you, Mike. You have so much good in you, and Motorcity needs you bright and alert. You bring so much hope to these people. And I will stand and fight along your side as long as I can, you all mean a lot to me, and so does Motorcity. But it has to be this way for now… I’m sorry.”  
  
  
Swallowing hard at her words, she stares back at me nervous and expectantly while I remain quiet for what seems like forever.   
  
  
“I just have one question…” I say, not really looking back at her.  
  
  
“Yes?” She replies softly.  
  
  
“Is this about a betrayal?” I force the words out; I never imagine finding myself in this situation, specially not with her.  
    
  
“Depends on how you might take it.” She replies carefully.  
  
  
That’s when I lock eyes with her. “Why should I trust you now?” I ask very sternly.  
  
  
The look on her eyes softens, and she grabs both of my hands. “Because, we both believe in the same thing, and we’re both fighting for the same cause. That fire inside of you is the same flame of hope that flickers deep inside my heart. I would never want to betray you, but there are things I can’t control, maybe because I’m just too weak to accept them… Sometimes I wish to run away and never go back, but I can’t run away from my fate, not when there’s so much good I can make out of it.”   
  
  
I wrap my arms around her and bring her into a warm embrace, because as much as I’d hate to admit it, she has convinced me. “You’re not weak,” I speak softly, and she hiccups a cry at my words, “You’re very brave and stronger than you think, Julie… I don’t know what really lies within you, and I’m afraid to know sometimes, but I don’t think I could ever hate you.” and even though I shouldn’t, I plant a soft kiss on her forehead.   
  
  
“I hope you’re right” She says, tightening her arms around me, silently begging for support, and I don’t think much; I comply.  
  
  
We remain like that for a couple of minutes; tangled in each other’s arms, afraid to let go. Sadly it doesn’t last long, a light beep comes out of 9Lives, and Julie hastily breaks the hug; wiping any remaining tears from her face. “I have to go…” She says in a dreadful tone.  
  
  
I nod, even though I don’t want her to leave.   
  
  
She’s starting to make her way towards the driver’s door, and I walk with her. “Mike, if anything happens keep Claire in contact, and I’ll try and do as much as I can from up there,” she opens the door, and faces me. “I know it won’t be much, but we have to be cautious.”  
  
  
Again I nod, and she gives me a half smile before she gets in and starts strapping herself in her seat. She starts the engine, and she reaches for the door, but before she closes it she looks up to me; her eyes filled with guilt. “I guess I’ll see you in a couple of days…” She says.  
  
  
“Yeah… I guess…” I say awkwardly, and she nods; softly pulling the door to a close, but before it closes I call to her. “Julie?” She pauses, and re-opens it, her eyes staring back at mines with curiosity.  
  
  
“Yeah?” She asks softly.   
  
  
“Be safe.”  
  
  
“I will.” Is what she replies before the door finally closes, and she drives off. Drifting away from me, Motorcity, and safety, and straight back to the poisonous trap that is Detroit Deluxe, back to Kane. 


	6. 6 Julie

_Julie_

 

For a moment, I regret my actions; threatening my will to force itself back to the garage, and into his comfort; to that trusting peace he always manage to give me whenever I’m near him. I can’t even bring myself to describe how agonizing is the stabbing pain I’m feeling right now, and the worst part of it all is me trying to ignore it. Welling tears that complicate my vision, unsteady breathing, a loud cry that begs for escape, but I hold back. I hold back because I have to be strong, after all I chose this path, I decided for things to be this way, and I have only myself to blame for that, and as painful as it is; I have to learn to accept it. It’s what’s best…  
  
Taking a deep breath I force myself to focus on the road before me, but thankfully I’ve reached Deluxe. After parking the car and dismounting it, I change into my “safe” clothes, and I take the few minutes I have left to recollect myself, but that seems impossible to achieve, and finally the pain wins. As much as I don’t want to, I give up, and my back slides from the door of 9Lives until I eventually slump on the ground, and that’s when I break. I close my eyes because I can’t bear it, the tears stream freely down my cheek, but as I wipe one down three more make a fall. I weep, and I allow myself, because once I cross the line to Deluxe I won’t be allowed to suffer. In Deluxe, I can’t break, I can’t show any form of weakness, so for now I indulge myself and cry.   
  
I throw a fit with myself, like a whining selfish little girl who didn’t get things her way. My feet shake desperately as I hug my knees and bury my face in them. And I just let it all out. I scream for how unjust everything is, how selfish my father’s actions are to the point of ruining my life, how cruel my future really will be. I’ll never be able to live a normal life because my true purpose is to fix everything he’s ever done wrong. Every single thing my father thought to be right; a lifetime punishment for his daughter.  
  
…   
  
It takes me a full 10 minutes to let it all out, though the pain still remains I have managed to calm myself down, and I don’t even need to look at myself in the mirror to know how much of a mess my face must look like. My hands are stained with smudged eyeliner and mascara, and I can only imagine how bloodshot my eyes are. With a light touch, I confirm the swell under my eyes, though there’s not much I can do about that right now.   
  
With a heavy sigh I bring my com-link to life and call for Claire, but to my surprise there’s no answer. “Claire? Are you there?” I say in between sniffles, and I wonder if she has fallen asleep already. I know it’s rather late, but not that late, not Claire late.  
  
Again, I try. Still no answer, and worry starts to replace my grim facade. Something’s not right.  
  
I push myself from the ground and immediately cloak my car to invisibility. With a quick glance, I assure myself of 9Live’s safety, and I start my pace towards Deluxe.  
  
“Locate Claire’s pod.” I command my holo-computer, and it takes a couple of seconds but it complies. I quirk an eyebrow at the information before me, and look up straight ahead of me. Apart from the sea of floating pods, there’s only one that’s not moving. This one is just floating still, a little too low for pod regulations, and according to what my computer says, that’s Claire’s pod.  
  
My eyes widened, and I feel a single drop of sweat trickling down my back, my heart rate accelerates as I think about the worst. This can’t be just a casualty.   
  
“Claire!” I cry before I dart towards her pod, desperately hoping that she’s alright.   
  
I’m halfway there when a sudden current jolts through my body. I yelp at the sudden shock, my body twitches as I try to fight the unexplainable to maintain balance, but it’s too strong for me to handle, and I falter. Falling abruptly to my knees, my vision a blur, and I try to catch a glimpse of who my attacker is, but it’s no use, I can’t move, and my eyes start to give up, and before I know it, my face slams harshly to the ground as everything around me turns pitch black.   
  
Footsteps approaching…   
  
And I drift away…  
  
…  
  
It’s cold, I feel cold.   
  
And my head… It’s throbbing uncontrollably that I can’t even withstand the silence around me… “Mmmph” I let out a groan of pain as I quiver and stir; it’s my entire body that aches.   
  
Even though it feels like a challenge, I slowly flutter my eyes open; my vision a complete haze. But from what little I can put together I’m laying on the cold hard ground, and wherever I am it’s dark, though not entirely. Either I’m still suffering from the dizziness of waking up or I’m actually moving, because as I try to look around, I see the white buildings slowly passing by.   
  
“Well, well, well… Look who finally decided to join in on the fun.” My eyes widen at the sound of his voice, and a gasp escapes my lips, and a shudder runs down my spine as I forcefully twist my body to face him, my vision slowly focusing, and there is Red, menacing as ever as his hands and arms vividly spark with electricity.  
  
He’s chuckling softly to himself, “You thought I wouldn’t know,” and he slowly starts to take a couple of steps towards me. “you thought I wouldn’t notice didn’t you?” He says in a low harmful taunting voice.  
  
Standing up, that’s my first thought, and I try to push myself up but a shot of pain betrays my attempt, and I shut my eyes and hiss in distress. My breathing intensifies, fear rushing through me like a cold wave, but with a shaky hoarse voice I manage to push the words that are mostly haunting me out. “Where’s Claire?”    
  
Red laughs at my first choice of words, he doesn’t need to say or explain it. It’s something he was obviously expecting me to say. “No, no, no, princess… See, if we’re gonna play this game, it’s gonna be by my rules. So why don’t we try this a little differently. I ask you a question,” He kneels down next to me, and I flinch at his closeness, unable to contain the shiver in me, but he likes it, he likes the way my arms tremble as I pitifully try to lift myself. He enjoys the way he makes me feel; how fearful I am of him. “you answer…” He gently places a hand on my shoulder, even though it’s not sparking I immediately jerk it away, and he let’s out a bark of laughter in return. “And if you reply like a good girl, I’ll tell you where your friend is.”   
  
Apart from my unstable breathing, there’s silence. How could I’ve been so stupid to think I wouldn’t get caught? But of course I knew, it’s not like I didn’t know the consequences. I curse at myself, regretting every bit of my previous actions, I should’ve never gone down there, I should’ve stayed in Claire’s pod like I was supposed to, and then maybe I wouldn’t be suffering as bad as I am right now, and Claire… A tear slithers down my cheek, and I suck in a breath. Is it selfish of me to wish that I should’ve listened to Mike? I feel so unsafe right now, so hopeless.  
  
“Oh please don’t tell me you’re crying?” He asks viciously, and I frown at his words; annoyed by his tone of voice, by his presence; his existence.   
  
I realize that my punishment isn’t the fact that I have to actually assist my intern shifts, nor is it the fact that I have to spend numerous hours listening to my father’s voice as he talks about how to properly run a city, no. It isn’t even about the fact that he cared so much about my safety that he assigned someone to keep an eye on me. My punishment started the moment my father decided to trust Red, the moment he gave my neck to the devil himself. But how could someone be so careless? More tears pool in my eyes, a little late to fight them back, so I blink to release them. I must seem so weak to him, so desperate… I don’t even need to see his face to know he’s smiling at the wrecked mess I am.  
  
“Well, that’s too bad. I always thought you were the aggressive type.”   
  
_This is not who I am, not who I’m supposed to be, not here, not in Deluxe. I can’t break here, I’m not allowed._  
  
This time I didn’t forget, and I feel my boomerang’s handle softly pressing against the side of my chest, but what good would that make if I don’t even have the strength to stand on my own two feet. I breathe a silent cry out. Even at the smallest attempt, he’d still have a huge advantage over me.  
  
“Stand up.” He commands in a strange calm tone, and I shake my head in response; my eyes glued to the ground.   
  
“I- I can’t!” I cry out defeatedly, but that’s not good enough for him, and without warning he strongly grips at my vest; forcefully hauling me to my feet. My eyes automatically shut in pain, my teeth grit as I hiss from the discomfort, but he manages to accomplish what he wants, and with trembling knees I’m fully standing. Wet eyes starring back at a black and red mask. He doesn’t even apologize for harming me, then again, when does he ever?   
  
“Now, you tell me everything I want to know; you cooperate like a good girl, and I’ll take you to your friend.” Some part of me wants to believe him, and yet there’s always that tiny voice in the back of my mind yelling me to think twice, to be strong, to fight back. Nothing is ever too easy.  
  
“If you’ve hurt Claire…” I choke the words out, my fists clenching so tight that I feel my nails digging themselves against my skin. The thought alone, makes me sick to the stomach; leaving a vile taste in my mouth. “She has absolutely nothing to do with my actions.”   
  
He laughs softly, challenging my assumptions. “But she knew, didn’t she?” He snarls, and I swallow hard at his comeback. “She wasn’t very cooperative either, very loyal friend you have there, Julie.” It’s the first time I’ve heard Red say my name, and it sounds so putrid and foreign, like it doesn’t belong. Like he’s not worthy enough to say it.  
  
With his words my lips quiver, I risked Claire’s safety for my own selfish needs again, and I can’t help but to feel ashamed about that. I hug my arms and I give the ground a look of despair. He’s winning, sending truth daggers straight at my heart.   
  
“Where were you, Julie?” He continues. His first question of course.  
  
With glossy eyes I look up and frown at him, a tear slips down my cheek, but it’s not out of fear, nor sadness. It is anger. “I went out for a walk, I wanted to get some fresh air.” Is all I provide, my face confident that my lying abilities won’t fail me now. But I can tell he’s not buying it, he grunts and stomps his way closer to me, his mask only inches away from my face. I tense, my eyes shooting up to where I assume his are.  
  
“Don’t lie to me,” He says in between teeth, I don’t need to see him to know that, it’s obvious. I draw in a shaky breath through my mouth, as I carefully stare at his towering form before me. What am I supposed to say? The truth? Another lie? What lie could I possibly create to shake him off? At this point I feel like giving up, my body still doesn’t feel strong enough to fight back. Having him this close makes me want to cry out loud, and beg for it all to be a bad dream. _Just shock me already!_ I want to scream. _I haven’t been honest, I’m not on your side, I’m not even on my father’s side, I’m your enemy, just kill me already!_ That would be better than saying the truth, because I don’t think that even I can handle the truth, no one can.  
  
As if my silence begged for it, Red takes a step back and let’s out a long sigh to compose himself. “Look, I think we would both benefit if you’d make this easier for us.” He says, though there’s still anger in his voice, I can tell he’s also begging it. “If you don’t cooperate, I won’t have much choice than to get your father involved, and I certainly know you don’t want that.”  
  
I tilt my head in question. And here I thought I was going to be tattled for my actions… I blink, anger is starting to ingest inside me once again. “What’s it to you then?” I suspiciously ask.   
  
“I ask the questions, and you answer!” He declares in a growl, and I take a step back. “If you don’t want to answer me that’s fine, but you will have to answer to your father… Now take your pick, princess, which one it’ll be?”  
  
“If my father won’t know about it, why should you care? I don’t understand…” He’s slowly following my each and every step, and it doesn’t hit me until my back touches the glass on the pod that he finally has me cornered. Red stretches his arms, maintaining balance with the glass behind me, officially trapping me between his arms along the process. I stand still, not daring to move a muscle, but he doesn’t do or say anything either, he’s just staring at me, at least I think he is, and I do the same; carefully studying him.   
  
I swallow hard on bitter saliva before I find the courage in me to speak, “You want to use the information to blackmail me, is that it?” I say in a low angered tone. Red tilts his head, and I’d like to imagine that he’s scrunching his eyebrows at me. “Why… Why do you want to know?” I keep pressing, and I’m starting to loose control again, but how could I not? His closeness is not something to be very fond of.   
  
He brings his face closer to mine, “I want to know, how was it that you managed to slip away from me… Now, where were you?” he says in an annoyed low voice.   
  
None of my options are in my favor, and what benefit would I gain by telling Red the truth? “Start talking!” He barks and I yelp. “Because I’m starting to loose my patience here, and your daddy dearest won’t be too happy to know that his precious princess ran away for a couple of hours without my supervision just to get some fresh air, so you better come up with a better answer than that!”  
  
I try to avoid him; looking around for anything worth starring at, anything but him, but he has taken over me, and all I see is either his mask or little bits of him reflected on the glass across from us. I look around desperately, feeling as if he’s suffocating the air out of me, and I just want to be as far away from him as possible. “I… I was… I was with my boyfriend!” But as soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them, and my hands immediately cover my lips, as if that would make them unsaid rather than already said.  
  
Red takes a couple of steps back, and I can already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders; air finally filtering through my lungs, and I take a deep breath to recollect myself, taking the opportunity to distance myself as much as I can with the limited space the pod has to offer.   
  
“What?” He demands, but I don’t face him, because even I can’t believe my poor choice of words. Though, not a lie… Not entirely at least, and my eyes widen with the sudden idea fondly growing in me. I can work with this, and I can make this work.  
  
“Your father never said anything about…” But before he can finish his sentence, I turn and force my way towards him.   
  
“But of course he didn’t, he doesn’t know!” I snap back. “What makes you think that a strict parent like Kane would let his secret daughter go around meeting new people, and most of all date?” As if he’s giving me the chance to explain myself, Red crosses his arms and turns to look at my direction, and his silence beckons me to continue. “If you wanted to know where it is that I used to run along and disappear to, well there’s your answer!”  
  
Red chuckles lightly at my words, his arms slowly untangling from his chest. “And you expect me to believe that?”  
  
I shift my weight, shyly shuffling my feet. “Well, it’s the truth.” I insist.  
  
“What’s his name then?” He asks very cooly, and I quickly look up at him, a little taken aback by the sudden question.  
  
For a couple of seconds I remain quiet, bewildered at my own lie… And I remind myself, that it’s not a lie, not entirely, that’s it is something more like fib… I press my lips together, his question still lingering like a floating pod in my mind… What’s his name, Julie? What’s his name? I feel the soft hum against my lips. “Mmm…” I can’t… Not his name, Julie, not where it’s mostly hated. “M-mark, Mark.” I finally decide, “Mark Johnson.” I finish, biting the tip of my tongue for almost giving him up.  
  
“Hmm…” He starts pacing before me as I try to control the tiny nerve bugs chewing at my insides. “Mark Johnson eh? So, if I look this ‘Mark Johnson’ up, he would appear in the system, is that what you’re saying?” He says in an unconvinced tone.   
  
As I pray that Mark Johnson is actually someone real living in Deluxe, and hopefully not some old prickly old man, I force a convincing nod at him. “So what’s his pod number?” He quickly adds in a casual tone, though the hint of a challenge is clearly there.   
  
There’s panic gnawing at my conscience, but I don’t let one bit of it show. “Are you serious?” I raise a brow at him; annoyed by his persistence, and in return he let’s an impatient sigh out. “H-how the heck am I supposed to know that? I don’t even know _my_ pod number?” There’s that lump in my throat again. I always knew that tricking Red was either going to be suicide or a challenge, and right now he’s making sure to prove his point. I don’t have valid information to prove my lies, none other but the traitorous truth. A truth that in this case won’t save me, but probably end me…   
  
I give the ground sadden look, my voice threatening to break. “It doesn’t matter anyway…” I shrug. “I broke things off…” I say defeatedly, slowly slumping to the ground to hug my knees for support. At this point I don’t care if he takes me to my father, tortures me or accuses me of lying, because my last words were nothing but the painful truth, and I don’t hold back, I let it show as well, and I feel the single drop of tear slowly trickling down my cheek. Reality, I remind myself, reality can be so cruel sometimes.  
  
“Now why would you do such a thing?” Red asks, but he says it in a sarcastic tone, as if it’s all such a huge coincidence that it happened when I finally got caught, and I give him a hurt look. But I am hurt, and not just at his words, but at everything. Maybe because for once I am not lying about something, and my tears are the product of the consequences, of my feelings, the pain and heartache, they are all very much real.  
  
“Would you please stop?” I softly beg in a short breath.   
  
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re upset?” He keeps pressing; provoking me to something I might regret.  
  
“Please stop!” I cry out. “Please! Can’t you tell that I really don’t want to talk about it? I’ve already told you enough as it is! And if that’s not enough for you, then fine! Take me to my father, I don’t care, just please, please stop!” I pause, choking up on my words with each sob, and I burry my face on my knees to hide my broken features from him, wailing at the harsh reminder. I never thought I could be so weak.   
  
His footsteps are becoming closer and closer, until they stop. I sniffle, wipe my tears away and look up to see him kneeled before me. “What… what do you want from me?” I ask in a low tired voice.  
  
“I would really like for you to tell me the truth.” Is all he says, but his tone… It’s not menacing anymore, nor angered or sarcastic. It’s serious, so much that it’s hypnotizing, and I slowly nod obediently agreeing to his terms.  
  
“I…” I start, wiping the rest of my tears away. “I did have someone, someone I really cared about but I had to end it…” I stare down at my knees, more interested in the fabric of my clothes than the dark colors of his mask. For some reason I just find myself unable to look back at him, it just doesn’t feel right. “It was never gonna work anyway. He doesn’t know who I really am, and seeing how things are with me and my dad, it was just way too complicated… So I decided to end things.” I shake my head. “I just had to do it in person… He… He was very special to me.”  
  
Apart from the fact that I entirely skipped the part that I’m actually talking about Mike Chilton, Red nods, and he means it. There is pain in my eyes, and not the physical type, longing in my voice for the person I let go of, my expression grim with nothing but the truth, and I’ve never felt more exposed in my life.   
  
Red slowly nods and stands, popping up a holo screen before him, wether he believed me or not I’m not entirely sure, and to be honest I don’t care, unfortunately for him I have nothing more to give or to reveal. So I hug my knees once again, my eyes slowly closing to rest; thankful that I am no longer being questioned, that I’m finally granted with silence to mourn my loss.   
  
After what seems like forever, but are actually five minutes of silent gliding in my pod, we stop. With tired eyes I look up to see my final destination, and to my surprise we’re connecting to another pod. My heart skips a beat, and I gasp in relief when I realize it’s Claire’s pod. With a smile slowly curling itself on my lips, I force myself to my feet, and when the pods are finally connected I glance towards Red who still hasn’t said a word since I’ve spilled my feelings out to him. “Thank you…” I say in a low relieved voice before I start to worriedly make my way towards Claire’s pod. Once I make the cross, Red shuts my pod and starts off, leaving me with a strange vile taste in my mouth. Claire’s usual cheery pod is a mess: Clothes scattered all around the floor, one of her bedside lamps shattered to tiny pieces, broken furniture, ripped bed sheets… I feel so short of breath all of the sudden, but as soon as I spot her I run to her.  
  
Claire is sitting on the floor, her back laying against the side of her bed, trembling knees hugged to support her terrorized state. I kneel before her, my insides churning as panic devours my emotions. My shaky hands softly grips her arms until she slowly focuses her petrified facade to me, her lips softly forming a gap between them, her usual perfect makeup smeared all over her face. And it kills me inside, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Claire this horrified in my life. No, this is even worse than the time the terra’s brought our fears out… She’s scarred with new fears, real threatening ones, something obviously far worst than marrying and kissing Chuck.  
  
“Claire…” I say in between a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. She slowly shakes her head, her eyes repulsed by the sight of me, and I wouldn’t blame her, she has all the right to be upset at me.   
  
“What did he do to you?” I immediately force the words out, my voice rabid for the man responsible for her nightmare.   
  
A single drop of mascara blackened tear trickles down her cheek. “I’m… I’m not hurt…” She says in a low voice, but reassuring enough to release the tension in me.  
  
“Oh thank god!” I sigh in relief and hug her, though my peace doesn’t last long, she’s not returning the gesture, and I immediately part to face her.   
  
Her eyebrows scrunched with clear irritation. “Your holo-machine thing didn’t work.” Serious eyes staring back at mines, lips pouted to form a hurt look on her face. “It… Somehow it froze, and I didn’t even notice until I heard the banging on the glass.” She shakes her head at the memory, fresh tears pooling. “I didn’t know what to say or what to do… He just questioned me about where you were and I just,” She shrugs. “I said I didn’t know where you went… So he started trashing the place to see if I talked, but I didn’t, of course I didn’t I never do. Then he started breaking things and yelling at me… But I didn’t give up… So then he started a countdown, and if you didn’t appear within the next couple of minutes, he’d turn me in to your dad and tell him about you being gone… He disabled my pod, I couldn’t move, talk… He threatened to torture me and…” She pauses and hiccups a cry out.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Claire…” She’s a blur to me now, tears fogging my vision as I embrace her once again. “I’m sorry! But I’m here now…” I say breaking the hug, making eye contact with her. “And I promise that nothing like that will ever happen to you ever again! Claire, I’m serious!”   
  
But instead of smiling or nodding in agreement, she’s slowly shaking her head, her face haunted with a look of disbelief. “Julie, I…” She pauses, for a moment unable to finish her sentence. She removes her focus from me, her arms hugging her torso as if she’s too ashamed to look me in the eye.  
  
“Claire, what is it?” I ask, my tone a little desperate.   
  
She sighs defeatedly and shakes her head. “I can’t do this anymore…”  
  
“I know… Neither can I, but we’ll get through this, and I promise you that things will get back to normal as soon as I…”  
  
“That’s not what I meant…” She interrupts, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. “Julie, I can’t be your friend anymore.” Her eyes darting to me, filled with the same pain as mines.   
  
“W-what are you…” And suddenly I don’t even have the strength to even finish my sentences, because none of this can’t be real.   
  
“I’m sorry, Julie, you know I love you like a sister, and we’ve been friends forever… But things have changed, and even though I’m always there for you, you’re never there for me. We don’t hang out as often as we used to, and when we do it’s either down in Motorcity, or you just bail a couple of minutes after…” She bites her lower lip, and I know that she’s fighting the urge to not say something hurtful.   
  
“Claire… Y-you don’t mean that, you know I’m always there for you, and I’ve always been there for you.”  
  
“Yeah? Well, where were you tonight? Huh? Because while you were mingling down there I was up here covering your sorry ass while yet again, my pod and my things got destroyed!”   
  
“Claire, I’ll pay for the damage. Look, I’m really sorry this happened, clearly I wasn’t careful enough, and I underestimated Red, and again, I’m sorry things went the way they did tonight, and I know it was entirely my fault, but you can’t be serious!”  
  
“I don’t care about the things, I don’t care about loosing something that can easily be replaced, Julie, this has nothing to do with that. You’ve changed, and I know we’ve talked about this a million times. It’s not just the clothes, your sudden amazing driving skills, the way of thinking or your preference to Motorcity that’s changed, no. It’s your preference in friends as well, and you’ve definitely made your choice.”  
  
I shake my head for a second, unwilling to understand what she’s trying to say as denial starts to take a strike at me. “That’s not true, you know that’s not true!”  
  
“You know, maybe if you’d stayed like you were supposed to then none of this would’ve happened! But like always, you’re always ditching me for Mike, and it never seems to ends! Never!”  
  
“No, don’t you even go there! You know that if I ever do that it’s because they need me! You think I want to ditch you every time the guys call? You know better than that, Claire, you know I’m just trying to help! You know that what my father is doing is wrong!” I start to break down, hiccuping a breath. “Claire, you know it! You know I don’t have much of a choice when it comes to helping the guys…”  
  
“Yeah…” She replies in a low tone. “But who helps me, Julie?” I keep shaking my head at her, as if that would make her take it all back. “You don’t get it! I have family who could easily become an easy target if I ever get questioned again. This isn’t about me anymore, and I can’t even bear the thought of risking my family because…” She pauses to take a deep and uneven breath. “Because I’m always covering for my friend’s reckless actions, when I don’t really have to if I don’t want to!”  
  
For a couple of minutes there’s only silence. Wet sniffles and soft sobs is all that’s heard, anger slowly building up inside for how cruel and insensitive Red actually is. “Did he threatened to harm your family?” I ask, trying my best to maintain as calm as possible.  
  
Claire sniffles, and she replies with a hurtful “Yeah” to confirm.   
  
I close my eyes in irritation, by now I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve cried tonight. It’s been too much, the hurt, the anger, and now the disappointment… I don’t blame her, of course I don’t, I’ve put her through enough to finally tip the glass, and I completely understand where she’s coming from. I just wish there was something I could do to make it up to her, but I know it won’t be easy. She feels like I’ve failed her multiple times, and she’s right, I have, so much to the point of feeling ashamed.   
  
“I’m really sorry, Claire, I didn’t think… I didn’t think he’d go that far.” I speak lowly, as if I’m too unworthy to talk to her.  
  
“Yeah well, he did.” She plainly replies, her eyes not meeting mines, and I can tell by the hard look on her face that she’s still very much upset.    
  
“I’ll try to fix this. Listen to me, Claire, I won’t let you or your family get harmed. I’ll talk to my dad if I have to, but I promise you that it won’t happen again!”  
  
“I know.” She nods nonchalantly, and I tilt my head in curiosity. “It won’t happen again, because I won’t have anything to do with you anymore.” Her face is neutral, but a single tear streaks down her cheek, and it makes me want to believe that she’s bluffing, that she’ll say it’s all a joke, and I stand in silence for a couple of seconds to see if she smiles or tells me that of course it’s not true, that nothing in this world could break this friendship apart, but nothing comes out, just a dead serious frown and eyes that say nothing but how hurt she actually is.   
  
I know I should probably be protesting; telling her that she’s wrong, but I’ve done enough for one day, and the damage is already done. Maybe all we need is time, time for things to fall back to place, time for things to calm down…  
  
“I guess I should leave…” I say, still hoping that things will turn around out of the blue, but she slowly nods. Letting a long sigh out I pop the bright holo-screen before me and dreadfully call for Red. He doesn’t say anything at my sudden request, and I don’t provide much, just that I want to go home, and he nods, and the screen before me turns to nothing. Claire doesn’t talk to me, and as I wait for Red, I even offer to help her clean up to get something out of her, but she just says “No thank you” to strike back. She really wants me gone.  
  
When Red arrives I grab my bag, and before the pods connects I take the opportunity try one last thing. “I broke things off with Mike…” I tell her, and she looks up at me, her eyes softening, and for a brief second I think I have my friend back, but as quick as that hint of caring appeared it disappears as well, and she shifts her weight and looks away.  
  
“That’s too bad, but maybe it’s what’s best for now.” She replies uncaringly. But that’s not what I wanted to hear from her, and as much as I agree with her words, I wanted her to yell at me, to tell me how wrong I was to break things off, to tell me how selfish I am with myself for doing such a thing, I want to hear what the real Claire would say. I want my friend back, I need my friend, and I need her now more than ever.  
  
I draw in a shaky breath, and with teary eyes I nod. “Yeah…” I add to support her answer, and finally the pods connect and our time is up, but before I make the cross I give her one last look, and thankfully she looks back. “I really am sorry, Claire, for everything.”   
  
There is hurt in her eyes, and she nods, “I know…” and she means it as well, and to know that brings me some strange peace of mind, and I know there is hope for us, just not for now, but maybe someday.  
  
Until she forgives me for shattering her.


	7. 7 Julie

_Julie_

 

The alarm goes off, and if it wasn’t for the torturous ache attacking my brain, I would’ve probably let it run. The lack of sleep doesn’t help, it’s what’s causing my body to feel this heavy, like some strange force that’s binding me down to my bed, and it doesn’t even feel reasonable for me to try, and attempt to move a muscle, though it was to be expected. I feel drained, both physical and emotional, and it hurts, and it’s exhausting, and I feel like staying here; drowning in my own sorrows, and this huge sea of blankets that somewhat comforts me.  
  
Not like I intend to rest, and it’s not that I don’t want to, but my mind is still trying to process it all, making rest seem so out of reach, so odd, and out of place. I just want to lay here all day, and hopefully forget; pretend that none of it happened, even if I eventually do fall asleep, or feel numb; anything. Anything else sounds blissful at the moment, anything but reality, and my lies, and what they’ve done and caused.  
  
Even if all of that sounds like my ideal day, it’s something I’m gonna have to kiss goodbye. I can’t afford to mope around, and drown in my own misery. I can’t let my guard down just like that, I’m not allowed.  
  
So I roll out of bed, and force myself to the bathroom. Maybe a warm shower will help wash all of this horrible night away from me, and I really hope it does. I made my choices to have a clearer mind, to protect and keep my friends away from danger, and yet, everything seems to be rebounding. I sigh heavily at the thought. None of this was supposed to happen.  
  
…  
  
After I freshen up, I dreadfully make my way towards our dining room, where I usually meet, and join my father for breakfast. That is, if he’s not too busy to skip the meal… But luckily for him, he isn’t, and he’s sitting at the head of the table like always; sipping on his cup of coffee as his eyes occupy themselves on the holo-screen popped up before him. He doesn’t notice me instantly, but then again, he’s not expecting me to be here.  
  
I clear my throat lightly, and his gaze darts towards me. His face changing to a look of surprise.  
  
“Good Morning…” I mutter before I take my seat, just to be polite.  
  
“Julie Bear,” He starts, raising an eyebrow, and staring at me with a bemused look on his face. “I thought you were spending the night at Claire’s.”  
   
I take a deep but silent breath at the cruel and bitter reminder, and I nod. And just when I’m about to speak my made up excuse, I notice from the corner of my eye that another person enters the room, and his presence sends an eerie vibe through my veins, like an instinct warning that advices me to be cautious about the words that could probably come out of my mouth.  
  
My father notices my change of expression, but I don’t think he realizes that it’s because of Red’s presence. He’s gotten so used to having him around, that it’s sickening of him to expect me to do the same, but as much as I’d love to argue about that now, I now owe him an explanation as to why I’m sitting this early in the morning next to him, and not waking up at Claire’s pod like I originally planned to.  
  
He briefly interrupts his gaze from me to quickly glance at Red, as if he’s going to provide him with the answer, and I immediately look down at the table’s surface.  
  
“Well?” My father asks, and I dare a peek at their direction.  
  
Red doesn’t speak, and in result, my father sighs annoyingly and glances back at me.  
  
Unsure that it will backfire, but I have no choice but to lie. “Claire and I got into an argument.” I say lowly, as if in shame. Only thing is, that I am not faking the shame nor the fact.  
  
His eyes widen with surprise at my words, though his face still remains very confused. “An argument?” He asks.  
  
“Yeah… Look, I rather not talk about this now, okay?” I answer, trying my best to hide the pain in my tone.  
  
“Well that’s very not like you two at all…” He comments, and of course ignoring my request. “And what caused the argument if I may ask?”  
  
Lies, lies and more lies is all I have to offer. “Nothing, it was stupid really…” I say, not meeting his eyes.  
  
“Stupid enough for you to leave, and end up back home?” He presses.  
  
I sigh in irritation, and the pulsating pain against my skull is not helping. I reach for the coffee pot and serve myself a generous amount of the bitter liquid on my cup. Maybe some caffeine will help ease the pain and the heavy lag in my body, and hopefully, help me understand why my father is suddenly so interested in my relationship with Claire.  
  
“I kind of overreacted over something silly. Really, it’s nothing, I’m sure we’ll work things out with time.” Is all I provide, because I feel insecure about lying in front of the one person who does know something.  
  
“You overreacted?” He asks,  still very much hungry for more.  
   
I give Red a quick nervous glance, uncertain that he will give me up. Whatever I did provide to Red last night was partially true, but that doesn’t mean that my father will get the same treatment. The question of the matter is, will Red let me? I bite my lower lip at the thought.  
  
“You know how girls are,” I start, averting my eyes from Red, and now facing my father. “we like to wear makeup, paint our nails, dress up…” My father gives me a quick nod, but his face looks impatient. “Claire wanted me to try out this stupid silly looking outfit, and I refused. Then everything got out of hand, and we ended up arguing…” I shrug at my made up conclusion, and just to add a bit of touch I chuckle nonchalantly, but slightly embarrassed. “See? I told you it was something silly.”  
  
The look on my father’s features relaxes, and he smirks. “That’s not silly at all, Julie Bear.” He says as a matter-of-factly. “In fact, you reacted quite well.”  
  
I thank the heavens that I didn’t actually take a sip of the scorching coffee that was currently nearing my lips, because I would’ve probably spat it back out, or choked on it from my father’s reaction. Instead, I carefully place the cup back on the table, and raise a questioning brow at him, all of this while trying my best not to appear too alarming.  
  
“You and I have talked about this before, actually. How you shouldn’t let people stumble upon you?” He adds, and I frown.  
  
“Dad, Claire wasn’t stumbling upon me, or whatever you think it is that she was trying to do!” I shake my head. “It has nothing to do with that! In fact, I think I should call her later, and apologize for acting the way I did.”  
  
His once pleased expression replaces itself with an unpleasant scowl, and he bangs his fist against the table; causing the fine china to clink from his brutal move. I slightly back away from the table, straightening myself in my seat as I fold my arms, mentally preparing myself for one of his critical speeches.  
  
“Have you learned nothing? How many times do I need to remind you, that you do not need to apologize to anyone. You don’t need to degrade yourself to that level! If anything, Claire’s the one who should apologize! For god’s sake, Julie, you’re going to run this city one day! You need to stand your guard; stand tall! No one should tell you what you should or shouldn’t do!” He scolds.  
  
I scoff at his words. “That’s very hypocrite…” I mumble.  
  
“What did you say?!” He demands.  
  
“I said, that’s very hypocrite of you to say!” I shout, finally loosing my patience. He doesn’t say anything back, he’s too offended by my tone and comeback, his eyes piercing me with disbelief and hurt, but I don’t care.  
  
“You say that no one should tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, and you’re right! But that should go for everyone else as well, don’t you think?” I add, and he snarls.  
  
He closes his eyes, and makes a futile attempt to recollect his temper. “You can be so naive sometimes, Julie.”  
  
“Why? Because I don’t think you’re making a valid point? Dad, you just told me that I shouldn’t let anyone tell me what I should do! You’re always telling me what I need or don’t need to do!”  
  
“I am your father! I have the authority to tell you what to do, and what not! I know what’s best for you!” He retorts.  
  
“Yeah, and what about the people of Deluxe and Motorcity, should they also listen, and be forced to do what you want them to?”  
  
It’s as if the world froze, and there is a tense silence surrounding us. Dad glares at me, with intense hateful eyes. Red, who for a second I had forgotten was in the same room as us, is also facing at my direction, but he doesn’t dare to share a word. But how could he? If anything he is the most conflicted person in this room, the pure example of irony. Once a knight in shining armor down in Motorcity, fighting for what he believed was avenging the fall of his home. Lost and confused, darkened and wicked, he now fights alongside the one person who initially took down his forth.  
  
“You don’t realize how much I have done for you. Everything, every single decision I’ve taken has been for you, to give you the best, to give you everything!” He expresses.  
  
And I am touched, really, I am. But I don’t need cities, empires, money, extreme safety measurements, or to have people worshiping my last name to know that he cares. Even if it’s all true, even if his intentions are to give me the best of the best like he so proclaims, he’s gotten too far, too selfish and greedy for me to believe it. Lying to his own people just to keep them on track and loyal. The way people suffer down in Motorcity, because their homes were forcefully taken from them, and they feel frightened and threatened from the constant attacks to take away what little they’ve got. The constant fear that they feel to speak their minds up, and if they dare to do so, they receive immediate punishment in exchange. And none of this is right.  
  
He takes a deep breath. “No matter, you’ll understand one day. I know you will.”  
  
There is nothing else I wish to say to him. I know that if I continue to express myself he’s just going to keep throwing things my way. How ungrateful of a daughter I am about what he’s doing for me, how everything he does revolves around me, and how hard he’s worked through his entire life to give me the best. For now it’s best if he just believes that I’m a deranged teenager that’s going through a rebellious stage in her life, and that sooner or later it will most likely end.  
  
Kicking my feet against the floor, I push my chair to release myself, and I stand.  
  
“You’re leaving?” He asks with a sarcastic chuckle. “But you haven’t eaten anything yet.” He points out, as if that would make me change my mind.  
  
To dismiss his worry, I grab my cup of coffee and a bagel from the bread basket. “I’ll have it on the go.” I reply coldly before I turn to leave.  
  
“And where are you going? Your shift doesn’t start for about another hour or so.”  
  
Pausing my walk, but not turning to face him, I say, “I have a lot of work to catch up on. Aren’t you always saying how responsible it is to always start ahead?” with very much sarcasm.  
  
He remains quiet, and I can already imagine the sour scowl on his face. Maybe it’s in my genes, but whenever I want to, I can throw the same poison back at him. He might be my father, and I might have to apologize later on for talking to him the way I just did, but he just doesn’t know how long my limits truly are. People might let him stumble upon them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to do the same.  
  
To be in the same situation as I am, you need to have a lot of patience, and luckily for me, I possess it in large quantities. It’s been tested numerous times, wether it’s by the trouble that lurks down in Motorcity, the stress that my double life causes me, how Mike thinks it’s safe to be reckless to the point of almost getting himself killed, having Texas constantly and annoyingly ramble nonsense about how awesome he and his ideas are, or even listening to the things they would do to my father when they finally do take him down one day. Even with all of that combined, I always manage to keep my head cool. But with my father… It sometimes tips the glass.  
  
“I’ll see you at our session this evening.” He says with a careful tone, as if he’s holding words back.  
  
I nod, and continue my walk out.  
  
With all the unwanted tension I’ve received this morning, it’s no surprise that my mind feels more awakened. Sadly it hasn’t made the tiredness in my body melt away, and for a second, I thank the fact that I did decide to bring the cup of coffee with me. As I enter the elevator, I take a sniff of the wake up juice before I actually take a sip. Even the smell of it seems off, rotten like vitamins and burnt out plastic. It’s not my favorite, but it does its job.  
  
With a finger, I press the button to my destination, and just when the doors are about to close, a black hand interrupts the process, but for once I don’t care, and I even step aside to let Red in.  
  
He sighs tiredly. “Sorry, princess, but you know the drill…”  
  
I don’t face him, but I nod in response, and I lower my gaze to the warm cup between my hands as I swivel the dark liquid before the doors finally start to close.  
  
When the elevator starts moving, I take a deep and relieving breath, and I give a quick glance at the tall man standing next to me. “I want to thank you for not telling my dad about what really happened last night…” I say, and he immediately jerks his head to face me. “I don’t know why you did it, but it sure saved me a lot of unwanted explaining.”  
  
Uttering a ‘tsk’ he says, “It sure didn’t seemed like it.” and he turns his gaze back to the closed doors before him.  
  
I frown at his response. “Well, I had to tell him something.”  
  
“I suppose.” Red says. “It was quite interesting to see you lash at him the way you did…” He says with a suggestive tone, and I shake my head at his words, because I know where he’s going with this.  
  
“Why do you even work for him?” I ask quietly.  
  
As if he’s at lost of words, Red just glances at me, staring at me I suppose, but he doesn’t say anything in return.  
  
I can completely understand why he might feel confused by the sudden question. It is totally out of line of me to ask, why should it even matter to me, right? But maybe it’s the mystery coffee that has boosted up my confidence, because for the first time in a while I feel bold, and not afraid of the dark cladded man. “Oh yeah, that’s right…” I speak lowly, though my tone remains sarcastic. “How silly of me, I completely forgot! You both think it’s more important to hunt Mike Chilton down, rather than to work on the things that truly matter.”  
  
I can feel the tension building up, the adrenaline rushing through my veins at the thought of how dangerous this can actually turn out to be. I can hear Red’s breathing intensifying from the rage rising within him.  
  
“You don’t know shit about the hell I’ve been through because of that bastard!” He growls. “It’s even a disgrace that your father once trusted him as much as he did.”  
  
“That’s not true!” I say out of anger for his hurtful comment. But do I really want to turn him against me just like that? Do I really want to make myself the target, just so I can prove him wrong?  
  
“No?”  
  
My hands tremble with anger, and the wonderful pride I feel for my Burner leader starts to rise. “I’ll have you know that Mike Chilton was one of KaneCo’s most promising soldiers, and to this day there has been no one, not even my father’s top elites, that has surpass his talents and achievements.”  
  
Red chuckles lightly. “I’m sorry to hear that your knight in shining armor turned out to be a traitor and cold hearted.”  
  
My cheeks warm up. How could I forget the way my father always talked about Mike, how proud he always felt about his star cadet. He trusted Mike, so much that he even expressed his desire for the both of us to meet one day. I’m thankful we never did, at least not in the way my father wanted us to.  
  
“So you don’t believe that what he did was wrong? How he basically lead a mission to destroy other people’s homes, and then basically turned his back on your father?” He presses, and I snap out of my thoughts.  
  
With Mike’s “treason” came more lies. Mike tried to warn the people of Deluxe about how corrupted and evil my father truly was, but of course, my father always has his ways and advantages. The way he uses his voice to sugar coat, and sell lies to his own people. How he fed fears, and turned an entire city against their most glorified soldier. Which brings me to the conclusion that continuing this argument will lead me nowhere, but only rise suspicion about where my loyalty truly stands.  
  
“No, I agree. What he did was wrong… I just think that there are more important things to worry about, rather than seek revenge.”  
  
The elevator stops, and Red doesn’t say anything back. He waits a little impatient for the doors to open; muttering something unintelligible under his breath, but as soon as they do open, he immediately darts out of the elevator, lightly shoving my shoulder along the process. He doesn’t even wait for me, or even care about the fact that he’s my escort; his strong pace catching everyone near us some unwanted attention. The people waiting for the elevator turn towards me, and deliver me a questioning look, and though it’s none of their business, I shrug, and take a bite of my bagel before I exit, and start making my way towards my working station.  
  
…  
  
During my entire shift, Red was nowhere to be seen. I even enjoyed a meal without supervision, and while I admit that it was nice and peaceful, I can’t help but think about our conversation from earlier… Not that it should matter, because it doesn’t, but did I really ticked him off that much to the point of having him distant himself from me? Or maybe he gave up, and quit! But just when I was about to smile, and celebrate the victory of possibly having him gone, I heard the soft knock on my cubicle, and of course, his tedious voice.  
  
Now he stands at the frame of the door, like he always does; supervising my each and every move, as I wait for my father to meet me for our daily sessions. Besides letting me know that he was going to escort me to my father’s office, Red hasn’t said anything else.  
  
I let my fingernails strum freely against the large conference table’s surface, desperately trying to find entertainment for my ears, anything but this dull silence. With a sigh, I give the time a look. My father is running late, and it’s not common of him to do this.  
  
A couple of silent and torturous minutes later, the door hisses to an open, and I lazily turn on the hovering chair to finally greet my dad.  
  
“Finally, I though-“ Cutting myself short, I raise a questioning eyebrow at the person entering the office. “Where’s my father?” I ask a bit irritated, finally standing.  
  
Tooley enters the office, clumsily as ever. He even jumps a bit frightful when he walks past Red, but he recovers quickly with a sheepish chuckle before he starts making his way towards me. “Julie, I have something to tell you!” I fold my arms and huff. “Mr. Kane wanted me to tell you, that he can’t meet you today, because he wasn’t feeling too good, so he ended up going to the doctor’s office!”  
  
My eyes widen, and my stomach turns at the piece of information. “W-what? Is he alright?” I demand with sudden worry.  
  
Tooley takes a moment to think things through, but then he nods confidently. “Yes, yes he is. His leg started hurting again.”  
  
I sigh in annoyance, and pinch the bridge of my nose. It happens from time to time, ever since the accident from a month back. Even with his most professional medical staff advising, and informing him about the severe consequences of the negligence to his recovery, dad didn’t care. Always too stubborn to follow the doctor’s orders for his proper recovery, and he was out of the hospital within the next day or two after the accident. He’s not the type of person who wants to display any weakness, but even if he failed to perform his task, he’s only human.  
  
I remember noticing how he tried to hide the limp in his walk, the way he tried to mask the pain with every step he took. How he immediately dismissed any worry from anyone who tried to tell him that he should take a day or two off for rest. I knew it, and so did he, that his actions would complicate his recovery, but he didn’t care. ‘The city comes first!’ He would say, but how can he run a city if he can’t even take care of himself? Tooley doesn’t need to confirm it, but I already know that this time the pain was too much for him to bare.  
  
“Why couldn’t he just call me?” I ask lowly, suddenly feeling irritated at the whole situation.  
  
Tooley gives me an unsure look, and he shrugs.  
  
Not having anything else to say to Tooley, nor do I have any purpose of staying in my father’s office for the rest of my day, I start to head for the door. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” I say.  
  
Not surprisingly, Tooley starts to follow my pace until he’s finally next to me. “Yeah, well… Actually,” And I pause to face, and see what he has to say. “now that you have the rest of your evening free…” He continues, his tone changing to a more smooth and suggestive one, and I raise a questioning brow at him. “I was wondering if you wanted to go watch a movie with me or something.” He finished his sentence by scratching the back of his neck in a very timid manner, his cheeks flushing bright pink.  
  
My eyes widen at his offer, “Oh!” I start, awkwardly glancing at my side, anything but his face. I’ve always known Tooley’s had a little crush on me, not that he’s tried to hide it before, the guy’s very forward when it comes to his feelings, a bit too confident sometimes if I might add.  
  
As much as I don’t want to, I face him, with an awkward smile on my lips. “Well that sounds nice and all… But-“  
  
Before I even finish my sentence, I notice the glow nearing Tooley’s shoulders. It’s all happening so quick, that it doesn’t even give me time to protest, and before I know it, Tooley twitches, yelps and collapses to the floor. But the sickest part of it all is Red’s continuous shocking over the already unconscious body resting on the ground.  
  
“R-red!” I try to cry out, but there’s a sudden knot in my throat that’s preventing me to do so.  
  
“Red enough!” I finally manage to yell, and he looks up to face me, two seconds later the sparking stops, and he stands.  
  
I frown, and let a whimper escape my lips before I fall to my knees next to Tooley.  
  
Panicked, I immediately dig my fingers in Tooley’s neck in search for a pulse, my vision blurring from the pooling tears, but as soon as I feel the subtle thump I gasp with sudden relief. Regardless of my feelings towards the clumsy boy, and how sickly manipulated he is by my father, he’s always been nothing but sweet and kind to me, and even though I don’t care for him the same way he does for me, I feel like I at least owe him something.  
  
The concern escapes me, and the anger starts to slither itself through my veins as I look up, and glare at the monster towering me.  
  
“Why did you have to do that?” I demand, my voice hoarse from the rage.  
  
“I was ordered to keep any threats away from you!” He says, strangely calmly.  
  
“What?!” I ask, and it’s not that I don’t understand his answer, I’m just having a hard time trying to comprehend the sense of it. “Tooley’s not a threat! Yes, he can be extremely annoying at times, but he’s definitely and certainly not a threat!” I clarify.  
  
“So you just let random guys throw themselves at you, just like that?!” He suggests.  
  
I gasp offendedly. “How dare you?”  
  
“Wether you like it or not, I’m just trying to follow my orders here!”  
  
“No! You just like to torture people out of pure enjoyment!” Red chuckles uncaringly at my remark.  
  
“You’re sick!” I add with disgust.    
  
I’m extremely convinced that Tooley’s well being is not of much importance to my father, and that no matter how many times I try to tell him how ruthless, and totally unnecessary Red’s actions were, he’d still wouldn’t care. Red could use this opportunity, and what he knows about me from the previous night to his advantage if I ever try to defy him. There’s not much I can do for the poor fool, and Red doesn’t give me the time either, he yanks me to my feet, and with my cries and protest he forces me out of the office. A very clever move of his, there’s people in the hallways, and with my faint sniffles I wipe my tears away, and jerk my shoulder free from his hand. It doesn’t matter that I yell or warn the people around us, they fear Red, and they know better than to cross paths with the dark masked man.  
  
Without interrupting my walk, I give the now closing door from my dad’s office one last guilty look, yes with guilt, because once again, it was because of me that someone else got hurt.    



	8. 8 julie

The room felt cold and lightly dimmed like any other hospital room would. It reeked of bleach and disinfectants, the sensation to suffocate combining with every excruciating breath you took. 

My father laid silently on the bed with his arms crossed and a sour scowl painted on his face. He was upset, and we hadn’t exchange a word since the moment I rushed into the room. Not that he even gave me the chance to express my relief to see him okay, in pain, but nonetheless okay. With a raised hand of dismissal and a shake of his head, he silently ordered me to keep any comments I had to myself. 

I remained seated on the clear acrylic chair that was next to his bed, my hands were buried beneath my thighs; a sad attempt to warm them from this hellish freezing room. And standing by the entrance like a statue was his ever loyal guard, Red.

It was obvious that my dad was furious, not at myself or at Red, but more at himself. Frustrated that not only did he felt broken but actually was broken, and that fact alone was spreading within him like wild fire, the kind that couldn’t be tamed. He couldn’t bare the thought of not having full control of something. He felt vulnerable and humiliated about his pitiful state, and he didn’t even need to say it for me to know it. His breathing was heavy, as if something inside of him was brewing and readying itself to explode. His daunting gaze was fiercely committed to the door; waiting for the prey to enter and be devoured by the predator itself.

I was on edge, and although the room was cold, my body had other reasons to be trembling this right second. The memory of Tooley’s collapsing body was still fresh in my memory, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it, I wouldn’t even dare to, it was too risky from both ends. Dad would care less right now, he had a more important matter on his hands to take care of before the thought of caring about his right-hand man even sprung to his mind. And Red could use that as bait to burn me to ashes; probably give me hell the moment we leave my father’s side. A whimper threatened to escape me, but I bit down my tongue hard, because I can’t break, I could never break, I am not allowed to break, not now, not ever.

There was a soft knock on the door, and my father’s eyes fell shut with irritation at the sound; a long heavy breath escaping him, although I’m almost certain I also heard a low growl as well.

“Come in” He said in a loud strict tone; his patience was obviously running thin.

The door hissed, and in came a tall slim man dressed in a white coat and glasses. His hands held a tablet to which his eyes were completely glued to.

“Good evening, Mr. Kane” He said in a deep voice, his gaze raising to finally meet with my father’s, if only for a brief moment before he took notice of my presence and eventually fell on me.

It wasn’t confusion that was written all over his face, it was more of a touch of annoyance for me being there, and as expected he cleared his throat lightly in concern, only to be quickly dismissed by my irked father.

“It’s all right Gregory, she can stay.” He assured the other man with a strained voice.

But Gregory’s eyes didn’t leave me quite yet, instead they scanned me like a newfound species that pleaded to be dissected, sending tremors down my spine as I forced myself to break eye contact with the man.

“Very well” He finally settled, although his voice was full with so much doubt and suspicion, but I wouldn’t blame him. Nobody knew of me, except for a handful of people.

Gregory made his way to the bed my father was laying in, immediately taking notice of his elevated left foot. Holding the tablet closer to his chest, and straightening his glasses with his free hand he took the liberty to lean in closer for a better view.

“Hmm… Did the nurses run some scans?” He asked, his concerned eyes now falling back to the tablet he held; fingers typing what I presume are medical annotations.

My father sighed heavily in irritation, and crossed his arms. “No, I ordered them not to. I asked to speak with the doctor first hand, and I’ve been waiting here for about an hour now, Gregory!”

The doctor didn’t seem one bit fazed by my father’s remarks. In fact, this man didn’t even have a drop of fear in him compared to how any other KaneCo. employee would when my father speaks to them in that menacing dangerous tone of his. If anything, Gregory seemed very determined and devoted to deliver his job. 

He gave my father a small bow of his head. “My apologies, sir, I was in the middle of an open heart surgery, surely you’d understand how delicate those can be.”

My father’s eyes narrowed at the tall man, as if he just defied him with a puny excuse. “Oh I understand, but my health comes as a priority. You of most people should know that.”

The venom in my father’s comment never hit the doctor, if anything he proceeded to examine my father’s foot with ease. “Yes, well, with very much respect Mr. Kane, I’ve advised you numerous times about undergoing knee surgery.” He gently took my father’s foot in his hands, and went on to slowly bend the knee. A painful hiss that slowly grew to a full on growl escaped him, and my eyes widened with sudden concern for the doctor’s well being.

“I’ve told you that I don’t have time to waste. For God’s sake, I’ve got a city to run, Gregory! So give me whatever it was that you gave me last time so we can both go on with our days.” 

A smirk grew on Gregory’s lips. “Mr. Kane, please, you and I both know that this can be fully solved if you let me do the surgery. I could haul a good team of surgeons and have them ready for you right now if you want, and I promise that I will have you out of this room in at least five days.”

“Cut the crap, Gregory, I wouldn’t be up and running in five days and you know it!” Dad snapped back.

Gregory nodded apprehensively, and summoned a hologram from his tablet, and before us appeared what I assume are X-rays and body scans from my father’s accident last month. “I said I’d have you out of the room, not walking. You’ll need physical therapy after the surgery to help with the healing…” He slurs, carefully analyzing the images before him. “But you probably could’ve been walking by now if you would’ve undergone surgery a month back like I initially recommended…”

“Don’t get sassy with me, doc!” 

It was fascinating to see this man hold as much patience as he did with my father. I on the other hand was on the verge of yelling at him for being so stubborn. Did he had a death wish in his hands or something?

There was a brief moment of silence. Tension filling the air, causing it to feel heavier and heavier along with the strong smell of bleach and disinfectants that wafted around us.

Gregory lightly cleared his throat. “With all due respect, sir, you fractured your knee a month ago. You never quite gave it the necessary rest it needed to heal properly. Not that it would’ve, it needed surgery in order to properly do so. We were on critical times at the moment, and that was understandable, the city needed its leader, but you practically had an open fracture on your Patella bone, and we patched you up and eased the pain for you at the time.” The doctor paused and sighed, a look of concern graced his features. “Look, I understand that you have bigger responsibilities on your hands, but you also need to take care of yourself in order to tackle them properly. I’m afraid that if you don’t undergo through surgery everything will eventually complicate. Medication can calm the pain temporarily, but more serious complications will rise on the long run; one of them being chronic arthritis.”

My dad rolled his eyes at his words, like a stubborn child would when being scolded.

“The pain will eventually return, Mr. Kane, and the more we prolong the surgery, well… Things will just become more complicated.”

“I can’t just leave my post, Gregory. What if-what if we have another incident like last month happening? I sure as hell ain’t gonna let something like that happen again!”

At that I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Of course he’d use the Burners as a poor excuse. He was desperate at this point, no. It wasn’t desperation, it wasn’t even the possibility of being afraid of a little surgery. My father was obsessed with having everything under his control. He was obsessed with how much he loathed Mike Chilton, and he was very determined to not rest until blood was finally shed. My stomach churned, because how unfair was it that I cared deeply for what he wanted death and gone and finally dealt with. 

“-you can’t expect me to just let my guard down like that!” He scoffed with malice. “You don’t seem to understand what exactly is at stake here. This city needs me. It functions properly because of me. Do you understand that?”

The doctor’s careful eyes stared right back at my father’s. 

My father’s patience was running thin, too thin for the other man’s life to be considered safe. Panic starts to gnaw at the pit of my stomach as the realization hits me. There are four of us in this room, and my eyes immediately dart towards the one guarding the door, and it doesn’t take long before the doctor does the same, and that’s when I finally see the man crack and shed an ounce of fear. With shrunken pupils and widened eyes, the man takes a short intake of breath, as if that was his last chance to do so.

Red doesn’t move, instead he tilts his head slightly to the side, the front face of his helmet staring right back at the doctor’s direction. There was no need to see the face behind the mask to predict what would happen next, he had a death glare fixed on the poor man, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt as if the air had been suddenly knocked out of my windpipe, because I couldn’t tolerate Red hurting anyone else ever again. Before Red could engage an attack, I jumped out of my seat and stood before Gregory. I could feel my racing heart at my throat, my chest felt like combusting as I defensively spread my arms to block any harm away, and with foggy eyes I stared back at the black and red cladded man.

He loomed over me predatorily but he held caution at the same time, he knew he couldn’t harm me under my father’s presence. 

“Julie…?” My father called carefully, the harshness in his tone long gone, but I didn’t dare to move a muscle, not even to spare him a look.

“I think Dr. Gregory is right.” Was all I could manage to push through the knot in my throat; eyes glued to Red.

“What?” My father questioned in confusion, and I heard the sound of shuffling fabrics and a creak coming from the bed. My dad was trying to shift in his spot or trying to get out of the bed, but I’d be darned if I let that happen, and that’s when I finally broke eye contact with Red.

“Please don’t hurt him!” It came out more as a plea, but the look I had on my face when I finally turned to face him was stern, almost demanding. Although it had no guarantee it would work, but it was all I could do to try and save this man’s life.

My father’s eyes grew wide at my request, surely surprised, but he did not say a word about it, instead the look on his face grew serious as he glanced towards Red and delivered him a nod; a silent mandate to terminate the kill order. 

Red seemed hesitant, as if he was holding everything he had in him to not shove me aside and proceed with his previous task at hand. He had a thirst for this, it was his main and only purpose, but like an obedient lap dog, he eventually took a step back from Gregory and myself; the tension finally leaving our side as I heard the doctor release a long breath of air from behind me.

There was anger slowly growing on my father’s face, and the way he kept glaring at me left no doubt that this time I was the cause behind it. “Well?!” He demanded with a cross of his arms; clearly setting his post of authority in the room. “Do you have anything to say, young lady?”

I frowned at him, not that I wasn’t expecting him to get upset at me, but why did it always felt as if I was the only one who actually cared about everyone and everything around here?

“N-no… It’s just…” And again it felt like the air was within my reach… “It’s just that… I think that you should really consider having the surgery.” But in the end I always manage to breathe. 

The look of authority never left his face. 

He always thinks of me like a five year old, as if I don’t know any better…

“And why do you think that?”

“Well… It’s just like the doctor said. Things can get complicated if you wait any longer.”

“So, you think he knows what’s best for me?”

“N-no, that’s not it. It’s just that I’m concerned-”

He scoffs cutting me off, “You’re concerned? Julie, only I know what’s best for me, is that understood? And you more than anyone should know how serious it is to have the type of responsibilities I have. I make my decisions to keep the sole heart of this city up and running. I have sweat and bled to build this place up, and I am not going to sit back and let it fall to ruins just because I have a little scrape on my foot. I can’t show any form of weakness, nor am I giving those Burners a chance to attack when the city would be at its most vulnerable state! The only thing good for me is to be strong and to endure the pain, because that’s what this city needs if it wants to survive again.”

There was silence, and I felt offended, angered, and sick, and tired, but I was not about to let his words drown me. “Well I’m sorry that I care way too much about you!” I spat. “I’m sorry that I’m just some naive kid who doesn’t know any better!” 

His cold glare softens the moments he hears me crack, he cannot stand to see me break because it breaks him, and that’s why I am never allowed to break. 

“Julie-that’s not-“

“No! You listen!” This time a tear sheds, but it is anger that’s currently taking over. “It worries me to death to see you in pain! And it sickens me that you don’t give a damn about your health, or even have the consideration to think about how I feel about this whole thing! You just assume that you know what’s best for you, but I don’t think that’s really it!”

He furrows his eyebrows, and the softness in his face hardens into a frown. “Calm down, why don’t you sit down and let me take care of things, okay?”

“Like hell I will!” I yell back determinedly. “Why can’t you for at least one day not worry about being in charge, or about planning revenge on the Burners and just focus on yourself here?”

My father sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “And, what exactly do you propose here, sweetheart?” He forces the last bit out, but it’s obvious that sugarcoating won’t work on me this time.

I allow myself to inhale and exhale; the heel of my hand wiping any sign of tears trailing my face. “Just have the surgery…” I say tiredly. 

There was hesitation in his eyes, and then just when I thought he was about to refuse my suggestion, I add, “If you’re worried about who’s going to run things while you’re recovering, you have a very good chain of command that are more than capable to run the place while you’re away…” 

The look on his face changes at my words, as if something beyond brilliant has suddenly occurred to him, and a defiant smirk grows on his lips. “Well, you and I both know how I feel about that…”

I give him a look of confusion that is also very well fused with caution. His tone screams danger to me, making me feel a bit hesitant to know where exactly it is that he wants to go with this, but eventually I force myself to prod him to continue. “And?” 

“Well, I just don’t see that happening anytime soon…” He says in mocking shame. “But you on the other hand…” 

My eyes widen with shock, and I’m suddenly speechless for what he’s insinuating. “But-N-no… That’s not-I-I can’t!” Is all I manage to say.

“Oh but you can, and you will if you really want me to go through this.”

He’s being manipulative, and I feel off balanced. My shaky hands and feet shuffling to find support until I finally find and plop back down on the chair I was previously sitting on. And without even caring about Dr. Gregory’s presence I lock pleading eyes with him and call him by what he actually is to me. “D-dad, that’s not fair. I really can’t!” I say with a desperate shake of my head.

His face softens, and he glances towards Gregory, who is like I expected ridden with shock. “Doctor, would you mind giving us a moment?” He asked surprisingly kindly. 

Gregory forced a nod, “Of course” he said with nervousness before he made his way out of the room. 

My father didn’t seem one bit affected about Gregory knowing that one vital detail about us, and I could tell that the poor man knew better than to spread the word out like fire. ‘One more person that knows about me…’ I take the mental note.

“I’m sorry, dad…” I choke out, because it’s hitting me all at once what I’ve brought myself into. 

“It’s all right, Julie.” He says; reaching his hand to mines. 

“I just don’t think I’m ready for this.” I admit.

“Of course you are, sweetie. We’ve been training you for this…”

“But I feel like there’s so many things I don’t know yet!”

My dad chuckles light heartedly, and gives a soft reassuring squeeze to my hand before he locks eyes with me once again. “Julie, when I first started the company I knew little to nothing about how to run a business, and I made a lot of mistakes, and I mean a ton of them. But I learned from them… I’m not saying you’ll make mistakes, but what I am saying is that slowly you’ll see that everything will start to make sense, and little by little you’ll understand more and more.”

I look down at my lap and remain silent, I’m just not sure about what to say to that. “I know you don’t know everything, and I don’t expect you to, but you can always come to me if you really have any concerns. I am trusting you, because I honestly don’t fully trust anyone else.”

I sigh and frown in thought. “But what if I make a really grave mistake?”

“I trust you won’t, and you can always ask any of the board directors for help if you have any doubts.”

I raise an eyebrow at him with unmistakable concern. “Board directors? As if they’d ever listen to a random intern…” I say with a roll of my eyes.

“They will if you have a direct order from me, which I will gladly provide you with.”

I purse my lips in thought, and give my dad a shrug. “So what, they’re suddenly supposed to know who I am now?” I say with worry.

There’s a brief silence, and my dad takes that moment to reflect the meaning behind my question. His serious gaze finding comfort in his lap. “I…” He starts, but immediately takes it back before he actually provides a reply. “I think I’m gonna leave that up to you.”

My eyes widen and my lips part in surprise for his words. “What? Are you serious?”

“Only if you really feel ready to do so. You obviously know the consequences this could bring…” I let his words sink in, because there is so much burden behind them. The whole city would know. The Burners would know. Mike would know… I bite my lower lip at the bitter reminder. “Which is why I will let you carefully think this through. I think that if you’re old enough to be managing the family business, then you’re old enough make this decision. I very much understand how important it is for you to gain the necessary respect in order to properly run the place. But if I’m being honest, I personally prefer if you wouldn’t, at least not yet, but that’s just the protective father in me that thinks that.”

He gives me a look that begs for my opinion, but words fail to come out, and all that comes out is something unintelligible. “I…”

“I know, Julie Bear, it’s a lot to think about. But you don’t need to rush into it, okay?”

I nod, because is as much as I can do for now.

“It’s just something that sooner or later needed to be discussed.” He chuckles. “After all, everyone will know eventually.”

Again, I nod, although this time I actually manage to speak. “I understand.”

“Good! Now if you’re going to do this we really need to discuss the city’s security protocol.”

And again, I am bombarded with something that leaves me wordless. “Dad-”

“Julie, this is very important. Now I’ve taught you about most of our programs and how to handle big business contracts, but security is something…” He pauses and sighs in deep thought. “Well, it’s just something I want you to be very prepared with, in case something arises…”

“Dad, nothing bad is going to happen. I’m just taking over for a couple of weeks, and both Deluxe and Motorcity are barely still recovering from last month’s attack. I think it’s very unlikely for something major to occur.”

My dad shrugs defeatedly. “You just never know these days…”

“Well, let’s just hope that nothing big like that happens while I’m filling in.”

“But, if something does happen…” He looses eye contact with me, and it doesn’t take long for me to follow his trailing gaze until it eventually lands on the person I had entirely forgotten was still in the room with us. “I am very confident that Red will give everything in him to keep you safe.” 

It wasn’t a statement, it was an order, and Red delivers him a reassuring nod. I force bitter saliva down my throat at the fact. He always makes my stomach knot in the worst way possible.

“It’s getting late, why don’t you go home and rest up sweetie?” It’s my father’s voice that finally makes me break contact with Red, and I shake my head to recollect my thoughts. 

“Home? But what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll make sure to get through this as soon as possible. After all, the sooner we get on with this the better, right?”

I sigh and nod before he opens his arms in a welcoming hug, and without a second thought I return the gesture, because I am frightened about everything; him, me, Red…

“Everything will be fine, Julie Bear. You’ll do great!” He whispers into my hair, and I tighten the hug to reassure myself that everything will be fine, even if it’s just another lie I have to live with. 

“I’ll make sure to send an official letter to the entire staff notifying them about you taking over the next few weeks, I’ll send you a copy of the official order as well along with a full planned agenda for the next couple of days.” He says before he breaks the hug.

I nod as I straightened my posture. “I love you, sweetie.” He says with caring eyes, and I give him a sheepish smile before I also reply back. 

“I love you too, dad…”

I was too lost in the affection that I hadn’t noticed when Red came to stand by my side. An obvious signal to our departure.

“Well, I guess I should get going…” I say with hesitation. 

“Alright…” And I give a little wave of goodbye to my dad before both me and Red turn to leave, but before we even reach the door he’s already calling for me again. “Oh, and Julie?” I turn with curious eyes. “be sure to send Dr. Gregory in on your way out.” I nod, and once again it suddenly feels harder to breathe.


	9. 9 Julie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning* This chapter contains a sexual innuendo.

_You hold me down in the best way_   
_No quarter from these chains that I've_   
_Slapped on my heart for a feeling_   
_Why can't I let my demons lie?_

_Keep screaming into the pillow_   
_'Cause your touch still gets me stupid high_   
_Oh glory, I'm a believer_   
_Oh glory, I'm a trier_

_-Wild Horses- Bishop Briggs_

 

A gentle touch graced the side of my face, interrupting my deep slumber.

"Jules?" I heard a hushed voice call my name, but my lips slowly curled to a lopsided smile upon recognizing its owner. "It's time to get up."

I whined and stirred in my spot in mock protest for the suggestion, burrowing myself deeper into the nest of blankets. "Mmmph…" I grumbled, "No, I don't wanna get up, and why would I even want to? It's quite nice and comfy where I am right now." and then as if to prove me wrong, strong arms were slowly starting to wrap themselves around my torso, pulling me closer and closer until my head rested on his toned chest, and I melted like caramel at his touch, but it wasn't just that… It was the fact that it was him, and his voice sounded as smooth as decadent velvet, and the way he smelled was so deliciously tempting, like the perfect combination of musk and leather and chocolate and motor oil. It was the way I felt his heart thump against his ribcage that made me feel alive and safe, and the way I felt him softly press his lips to my forehead with such tenderness that made my insides spark and flutter.

"And not to mention that being here with you feels so amazing…" I breathed happily into his skin, and he chuckled softly into my hair.

"Totally with you right there." He admits. "Trust me, there's nothing else I would want right now than to stay right here like this with you forever."

That's when I finally will myself to open my eyes. It's not bright out, so it's obvious that I am not in Deluxe, but right now it didn't matter where I was. The boy with the brown hair was starring down at me with soft caring eyes and a tired smile, but then again he was always tired. Mike Chilton doesn't know the meaning of rest.

I reach a hand up and I indulge myself to dig my fingers in his soft brown hair. His eyes close at my touch, and he leans towards my hand, as if he doesn't ever want to loose contact with me.

"You really need to stop doing that," He says in a trance-like purr. "otherwise we won't ever get up, and you'll be late again." He pauses, and I notice the sly smile that grows in him, and the sudden flush on his cheeks. "Actually, very very very late…" He finishes suggestively.

But my eyes are serious and focused as they carefully stare back at him; drinking in even the smallest of details about him, studying every inch and hidden corner of his face so that I don't ever forget how amazing and perfect this boy is to me. It's not until 2 seconds later that I process his words, and my little moment of adoration is disrupted.

I nod with a sigh, "I know…" my eyes landing on his chest to avoid any sort of eye contact, because the thought of staying here with him forever does sound extremely tempting right now, but it's reality who I'm actually trying to avoid at this point, like that fear in the back of my head that's always and purposely nitpicking at my fun. That cruel reminder that I can't exactly indulge myself even to the simplest of things in life so easily, because I am a secret, and a very delicate one at that.

One day, I tell myself, when all of this is finally said and done, I will hopefully have things my way, and I will no longer have the need to run away from the truth that's slowly but surely consuming my sanity. Even if it seems impossible to achieve at times, because everything about us is complicated; our lives, who we are, what we do, who we love… And even If I'm strong enough to look past all of that, there's days when I wish I didn't. I scrunch my eyebrows at the thought…

_Right now it felt exactly like that…_

"It's just…" The beginning of a sentence begs to come out, and it does, and I regret it, and it's too late, because Mike is already staring at me with so much curiosity. But just when I have finally settled on not spewing none of my silly nonsense… "I just-" I feel the words leave my mouth, and I can hear them loud and clear, I'm just not processing them… "I don't want to go back, Mike!" I suddenly choke the confession out, but these are words that conscious Julie Kane would never ever say.

Mike's eyes grow with concern at the words, and one of his arms unwraps itself from my torso, leaving the skin it previously touched feel cold and abandoned and desperately longing for the contact it once felt. But his hand gently grabs mine, and now he's the one that's starring at it like a fascinating object; the contrast of how small my hand is next to his larger and calloused one. He softly rubs his thumb against it and brings it to his lips, leaving a warm chaste kiss imprinted on it.

He hasn't locked eyes with me yet, and at this point I feel desperate for the attention, but he eventually provides it; releasing my hand but quickly finding distraction for it in my cheek with a soft gentle caress, and I swear that my face felt like it was literally lit on fire.

_I just don't think he realizes what his touch does to me… How desperately I crave it._

"I'm sorry…" He says in a low pained voice. "But you really have to go back, Jules."

A moan threatens to escape me, but I manage to process his words and recollect myself with a forced nod, and he quickly takes notice of the uncertainty behind it as his hand gently travels to my chin and lightly raises it so our eyes are securely fixed with each other.

"What's wrong?" He asks with worry.

"I'm-" I start, but I immediately bite my tongue for what could've left my mouth.

He gives me a warm reassuring smile, and with his thumb he lightly strokes my chin. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything, and I know you want to tell me something." There is a brief moment of silence, and he stares back at me in thought, the warm look on his face contorts into a concerned one. " Actually, I think you've been trying to tell me something for a while now, but you're scared, aren't you?"

My eyes water, because he's right, and I feel like vomiting all the words I've been keeping from him, but it's a sob that escapes me instead.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. You know I'll always I trust you no matter what."

His words hurt like knives being thrown directly at my rotten heart, because he is so good to me. Too good, and I don't deserve him. I've lied and kept way too many things from him, all for the sake of not hurting him, because someone as good and pure as Mike does not deserve this complicated mess that is me.

"I'm scared!" It comes out without my consent, and I shut my eyes and cover my mouth because I feel like I have no control over myself here, and I feel the truth creeping over, and I just can't let myself slip like that, because I don't want to loose him or this perfect blissful moment we've somehow built together.

But his arms tighten securely around me, and my face is once again buried in his chest. "It's okay" he whispers into my ear; sending shivers down my spine, "I'm here."

"Oh God, please, Mike, don't make me go back!" I beg, and he hushes me with a kiss on my neck.

"Shh… It's okay, I would never do that. You're here now, and  _I'm_  here, and that's all that matters right now." This time he nips at that sensitive spot on my neck, and I gasp and let my eyes fall shut so I can properly see the stars that he's causing me to see.

"You know I won't let anything bad happen to you…" He whispers the promise against my skin, and I loll my head back as everything around me starts to spin.

"Y-you won't?" I gasp, my hold on him tightening, because I'm too drunk on him to even keep myself straight at this point.

One of his hands travels to my chest, but it doesn't stop there as it reaches and settles on the side of my neck; thumb gently caressing that tender spot of mines that drives me up the wall, while his tongue is slowly working its way into the inner part of my earlobe; sending a thrilling shudder that tackles my body from head to toe, and I have to bite hard on my lower lip to stifle the loud moans that beg for escape. His other hand teases my waist with lazy south trailing fingers until he reaches my inner thigh. This time I can't contain the whimper or control the way my lower back arcs, or how my skin prickles at his touch and how badly my hands are trembling.

It's intoxicating, and I felt greedy for wanting more and more of this, of him, as if none of this was enough to ease that scorching desire that's been guzzling inside of me for the longest of time now. I craved to feel more of him, my body ached with hunger for him, and the message was blunt and desperate as it left my lips.

"I- want you…"

He snickers teasingly leaving a trail of hot kisses that run from my jaw to my neck, and he shifts so I am now being pinned against the bed. A hand slowly snakes itself to my bottom, hoisting me up until there little to no space between us, and my breath hitches in my throat at the sudden and divine sensation; trembling clumsy fingers digging themselves into the skin on his back.

"Are you afraid?" The sudden question comes as a surprise, whispered ever so lowly in my ear, but it feels and sounds so out of place, sounds so foreign in him.

"W-what?" I ask back in confusion, but only because I sense another meaning behind it.

And suddenly, the hand that was not so long ago lovingly caressing my neck starts to tighten around it, and my eyes shot open in alarm at the action, but everything I see before me is a dark blur.

"Shhh… It's okay…" The voice whispers with false reassurance.

"M-mike?" I ask desperately, because I can no longer sense his kindness behind this voice.

I hear a dark chuckle and feel the pressure of a body lay on top of me, and it's only then that I confirm that the person before me is no longer Mike.

In an act of instinct my trembling hands desperately try to claw this stranger's grasp on my neck away, but the grip is too strong and overpowering for me to win, and my breath hitches as a dreading chill rushes through my body.  _'Am I going to die?'_ I wonder as I franticly and greedily try to gasp for air.

I cough, because there is very little air in my lungs at this point and I am desperate for a proper intake of it. My arms try to push this person away, and I even try to squirm my way out of them, but I have little to no force left inside of me to tackle the heavy weight that's slowly crushing me to my death.

"P-please!" I manage to beg, and my voice comes out hoarse from all the coughing and lack of air.

"Mmm… I love seeing you beg like this." The voice says with amusement.

_'_ _What kind of sick person is this?'_

At this point I can feel the warm tears trailing down my face, the suffocation intensifies as the hand tightens around my neck. My heart begs for escape against my chest, and my breath wheezes past my lips as I avidly try to suck what little air I can grasp, but to no avail.

"You'll be fine… Just let go…" It says soothingly, and for a moment I feel like believing it. Vision starting to give in, fogging everything around me as I slowly start to loose consciousness. " _I'm_  here…"

I felt lips pressed against my forehead before he let those last promising words slip away from him.

"And  _I_  won't ever let anything bad happen to you,  _princess…_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I updated and it was within a month and not years! LOL!
> 
> This chapter is rather short compared to my usual chapters, but that is because this was initially meant to be the intro of the actual chapter. But the more I kept reading it, the more it grew on me to post it by itself. I feel like it has potential on it's own, and to me it gives more of an impact this way... Sorry if it feels very cliffhanger-ish, but that's actually the whole point of it. That being said, I am working on chapter 10, because I did get to write content about it. So hopefully it won't take me too long to finish that chapter and post it as well.
> 
> The lyrics at the beginning is because I've had that song stuck in my head for weeks now, and I honestly found it so fitting, not only with this chapter but with the entire story as well. Give it a listen if you guys can!
> 
> Also, I would like to apologize if the warning at the top seemed kind of spoiler-ish, but I always like to play it safe with my readers. This story is rated T, and it will remain as such since there's nothing too graphic being described in it. Anyways, I would really like your feedback on this chapter, it's the first time I write something as steamy as this, so I'm kind of nervous about how it turned out. I'm not all the way satisfied with it, but I've been working on this for a couple of weeks now. It took me a while because I kept picking on it, and then not touching it for days out of frustration, and then going back to it. Again, this is kind of stepping out of my comfort zone LOL! But I honestly hope you all enjoy it!


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